freeburd

The power of words- what's your currency?

2011-06-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 4:20-24-My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

"Whenever you talk about a dream, you used a little bit of energy from that dream in order to do so. And by talking, you run the risk of spending all of the energy you need to put that dream into action. know the power of words." Paulo Coelho

Words carry with them energy and life. What words or Word you give ear to, as well as the words you speak and center your conversations upon, determine many things. Words are like currency, each one either banking or spending, many times making deposits and withdraws of proportions only identifiable in hindsight. Many times either showing the interest of a wise investment or the overdraft of careless shortsighted living. Each sentence either adding or detracting value from the currency itself. Printing more money doesn't make you rich.

Ecclesiastes 12:11-12 The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.

Words have power. Study your words, they're origins, they're natures, they're frequencies. They will lead you to a deeper understanding if they are the currency of the shepherd, giving life and health, or a foreign currency, valueless to actually purchase what you ultimately desire.

"they hated me first" aka "don't take it personal"

2011-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

To bring truth into darkness either produces one of two things. Either humility, repentance, and faith, or hatred, attack, and destruction. Jesus reminds, "If the world hates you" begins with an "if" to remind us that it is possible that as those that carry light into darkness, there are times that the light will be received, welcomed, embraced. Yet it hangs at times as a big "if"

The opposite is also possible. The light, shining acutely on the darkness, often exposing what is being purposefully hidden (either because of it's grotesque nature or it's clear idolatrous reality), causes such a deep resistance and attack from an individual, that the only clear explanation is that, in brining light into that darkness, just the presence of the light itself, is exposing and threatening the very core of that persons existence and identity.

Challenging someones perception of themselves ( their functional identity) is dangerous business, but it is exactly the nature of the light (truth) to do so. That is why even questioning someone is taken as an accusation. When this happens, most certainly the light has exposed a nerve ending, and some form of response will ensue, usually combative, always painful.

The difficult thing about such interactions is to remember that the light (truth) is the source of conviction and exposure, not you the carrier of the light. That is why Jesus comforts his disciples reminding them that they hated him first. What makes this so difficult to remember in real time is that the person on which the light is falling, rarely sees beyond the agent of delivery, simplifying the situation to a "me vs. you", and unable to perceive the gift of the light for what it is. It is only seen as attack, personal vendetta, who wins (?).

This passage is clear. If you carry the light into darkness, you will be received or hated. Both are to be expected as possible. And the real tension for the agent of light? Will the potential response dictate the willingness to bring the light. Fear of possibilities, though real, can and should never have the final say.

Hard huh. But it's not personal. It's only personal, if you cease to look to the light you bear.

response to rebuke displays ones true wisdom or folly, humility or self protective pride

2011-06-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 9:8-rebuke a wise man and he will love you.

To love those who rebuke you, regardless of how they do it, or even if they are right, means you live with the presupposition that cultivation of humility is a great gift from the lord, and a large part of him making us into his likeness.

When we get hung up on which parts of the rebuke were "right" or "wrong", or lost in analysis of exactly how they did it and why (assigning motive is dangerous and ultimately unknowable to man- 1 Kings 8:39) we miss the simple gift that a rebuke is able to be received as a gift in any form, depending on ones perspective of oneself.

Pride is what makes a rebuke un- receivable. Growing humility and gospel stability give grounds for reception without the need for self protection and absolutism (it's either entirely right or wrong, and I can only accept any or all if it, if it's entirely right)

When self defense is our mode of operation, pride is alive an well, because we only defend what we love most. But with the gospel, which scripture calls our only true defense and hope, we are set free to receive and respond in love, with Christ in his rightful place in our hearts, our justifier, defender, and fulfiller of our deepest longings. We can be thankful, because a rebuke reminds us of our utter dependence on God for all things, and serves as a check for our ever resilient pride that lives to fight another day.

I struggle profoundly to live in what I just wrote. Regardless, I believe it is true. Lord have mercy on me, that I receive all rebuke as an invitation to examine my own heart and allow the gospel to cultivate new humility in me, and have grace for myself and others, as we give the gift of rebuke.

Proverbs 27:5 Better is open rebuke, than hidden love.

When keeping your youth, stunts your growth.

2011-06-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

Wisdom increases with mortalities embrace.

This is why modern mans infatuation with prolonging our adolescence, has created a society of well funded adult teens, lives lacking true wisdom, only seeking gains that sustain the illusion and keep them from the reality-"you days are numbered."

Proverbs 1:7,29 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. [29] Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord,

the costs of mistaking the groan

2011-06-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

Most people mistake they're groaning as justifiable dissatisfaction and therefore live as disgruntled pursuers of fantasy, never understanding the truth of the groan, destroying everything in their lives under the auspices of seeking it's fulfillment.

If complaining is the pornography of groaning, then relentless pursuit and commitment to the "groans" entire satiation, is it's adultery. Either with pornography or restless adultery, you cheapen the groan to an apparent place of "achievable", all the while drinking down lies that lead to your death, and the death of everything you use.

Proverbs 1:19 Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; It takes away the lives of those who get it.

self hatred is often just masked pride

2011-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 15:32-He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

Shame is prides cloak-William Blake

Pride, hiding out as shame, makes differing words and counsel un-receivable. Shame, not identified as the pride it is, makes the giving of counsel, and it's giver, unable to be perceived as anything but an assaulter, which is often not the case. Ones pride masked as shame makes everyone else the problem, which means the real issue is never addressed, and often gets protected from being so, by the false assignment of calling it shame, instead of the pride it is.

As a christian, to despise yourself, often stems from a need and commitment to a higher view of oneself than God holds. This context makes gained understanding not worth having, because receiving it would be an admission to your inherent need, striking at the heart of the pride itself. This is why, in your unidentified pride, someone loving you enough to discipline you with the truth can only be treated as an assault. Self righteousness most always looks like defensiveness, resistance, and passive aggressive attack.

Below are insightful comments on this issue from my friend Evy Brooks-

"but he wears this despise in such a way that he presents himself proud as a peacock because he can't even understand that he despises himself

and in this posture of self-deluded pride, he rejects the Lord but doesn't understand this either because the target of you/your words is close and easy

and so he denies himself of the very thing he proudly believes he is pursuing and defending,

which creates distance, walls, and ultimately he heads home with his greatest fear self-fulfilled: he is alone and ugly.

but you are the one who wears those names in his eyes, and you feel the loss he protects himself from."

"Where your treasure is, there will your heart (and ears) be also" Matthew 6:21

2011-05-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Elliot - "The more we pay for advice the more we are likely to listen to it. Advice from a friend which is free we may take or leave. Advice from a consultant we have paid much for personally, we are more likely to accept, but it is still our choice; we can take it or leave it. But the guidance of God is different. First of all, we do not come to God asking for advice, but for God's will and that is not optional. And God's fee is the highest one of all; it costs everything. To ask for the guidance of God requires abandonment. We no longer say, ‘If I trust you, you will give me such and such.' Instead, we must say, ‘I trust you. Give or withhold from me whatever you choose.' As John Newton says, ‘What you will. When you will. How you will.'"

Once a black sheep, always a black sheep

2010-11-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

Quote from my mom this thanksgiving when recalling a accidental fire "David, I didn't say you burned down that house, unless you lied."

2010-11-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

Piles of Stone

1 Samuel 7:12 -Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”

To pile up stone has been in the history of the people of God, an outward symbol to reflect an inward reality, that God is the helper and deliverer of his people. If you study the history of Israel through the Old Testament what you would find is the story of of life on a journey, marked by piles of stone, standing as symbols littering the landscape of a peoples relationship with God. One could imagine others who would come past on a later journey, seeing these piles of stone marking the landscape and wondering what could they mean, why were they here, what was the story behind each of them?

Ebenezer is the given name of a stone by Samuel, the prophet of the Lord. It means in the original hebrew "stone of help." It served as a marker of the redemptive commitment of the Lord to his people. They were piled up, so as to say, this day will not be forgotten nor will the Lord whom they represent.

The hand in this photo is of my dear friend. As we shared stories and tears the other day, the Lord decided to display His love and commitment to me yet again through my dear sister. With her help, I found a pile of stone in my past, a picture of God's faithfulness, one that had been forgotten, and that only through hearing my sisters life and story, could be uncovered. It was an ebenezer. A pile of stones drenched in a 24 year olds tears. A season of life marked by deep pain and yet an ever growing abiding experience of the Lord's presence and love for me. I remembered, I went back into the story, I wept, I was comforted now, as I was then. Sometimes you can never cry enough the first time life happens. You just can't. So you go back. I am grateful to not go back alone.

So she piled up some stones for me, some small pebbles under a bus bench in the heart of 12 south, to serve as a reminder that the Lord himself is our "stone of help." We laughed knowing that they would probably be swept aside soon by a passer by, but for that ( molment :), excuse me, moment, it was as though a son and daughter of the true Israel, fellow pilgrims on a sacred journey, stopped and stooped, to pile the stones as their forefathers, joining in the great ongoing narrative of redemptive history, of those who's lives are marked by piles of stone, marked by the Lord, his relentless help, his unchanging love.

Yes and No

2010-10-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

"If we cannot say no, then our yes means nothing." - Peter Block

Saying no can be one of the most difficult things for a human being. The desire to please, be accepted, be loved, be known almost inevitably feels linked to saying yes to others and opportunities. Yet what we find often in saying yes to everything, is that we are spread so thin across a variety of relationships and situations, that the life that were were seeking to find in saying yes to these things has avoided us entirely. Instead of experiencing the fullness of life we so desire and were created for, we traipse around as pedestrians in our own existence, exhausted and perpetually disappointed. We must learn to say no, so that when we say yes, it means something. And what it would mean, is that I know what I want, and what I don't, what will and won't fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. To discover these things is a journey of first saying no, that then leads us to a place of saying yes to the things that truly matter.

It is only through the spirit led willingness to say no to something or someone, experiencing either death of those lesser desires, or discovering the true desire underneath the outward manifestation that we are saying yes to, that the begins to teach us what it is we really want and were made for. It is only when we have a sense of this truth, that we then can begin to make decisions that have volition born of spirit led conviction.

Proverbs 19:22 -"What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar."

Without this understanding, we will crush everyone and everything in our lives with the weight of the eternal desire set in our hearts by God for his unfailing love. This then frees us to say yes to others and opportunities from a different posture. A posture of desire not demand, of openness not expectation, of peace not anxiety, of adventure not obstacles, of love not fear.

The Danger of How before Why.

2010-10-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

We live in a modern age of "how to" and believe that with the right answers we can fix anything and master our own realties. Yet oftentimes despite my own efforts, failings, and redoubling of efforts, my experience tells quite a different story. I am far less in control than I want to admit, and my efforts often seem to be like trying to turn the titanic with a rowboat. I wonder why I don't stop rowing and ask if maybe the ship needs to sink. My continual efforts are often directed towards answering the wrong questions, and therefore no right answer to the wrong question will satisfy the deepest desires of my heart for purpose, meaning, and love. And yes, I did just assert that all of our efforts in life are derived at answering those heart questions of meaning, purpose, and love.

Proverbs 19:22-"What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar"

"Taken in isolation, and asked in the right context, all "How" questions are valid. But when they become the primary questions, the controlling questions, the defining questions, they create a world where operational attention drives out the human spirit. Therapist Pittman McGehee states that the opposite of love is not hate, but efficiency. This is the essence of instrumental bias, our bias toward action, control, predictability. While being practical is modern cultures child, it carries a price and we are paying it. The price of practicality is a way of deflecting us from our deeper values." - Peter Block

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

"Love is never efficient but always effective" - Randy Draughon

"Authentic transformation requires more time than we ever imagined." - Peter Block

Seeing is believing? Says who?

2010-03-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

2 Corinthians 5:7-“We live by faith, not by sight.”

The Book of Eli, a relatively new film gives modern experience to these words of Paul. In the film, a blind man Eli who reads in brail, and has possession of the last known Bible in the world, a Brail bible, goes on a treacherous and eventually life ending journey to secure the bibles safety and its getting translated back from brail, to written form.

The clear impact of the words of scripture, upon the man Eli, is profoundly evident, acting as his guide and very sense of life and identity. The reality that they are more than just words, but the source of, and the power of, that which these words come from, and connect one to, is palpable throughout the film.

To read in brail requires time, and an infinitely slower pace and focus to the digestion of the words. It also involves tactile senses that simply reading with your eyes does not. It would be hard to multitask while reading in brail. It is a reading that involves your entire self, mind, heart, and body.

Most Christians I know long for the words of scripture to move out of their heads and into the fabric of their day to day lives; that the truth of the Word would begin to order all that they do and say; that it would give them direction, purpose, and a sense of identity that transcends the circumstances of their days. Eli had such an experience, and not seeing with his eyes was why.

What would it look like for those of us to begin to experience the Word with our entire self, with our hands and eyes shut? Some thoughts.

Time- in the film Eli confesses that he reads daily. My sight often times dictates my time. What I see is what I do and what I believe I need. If time would begin to be dictated by something other than what I see, other senses would have to become as strong as sight, and have the persuasion of sight. Senses like hearing. Which is listening.

Job 4:12-"A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it.” (1 Kings 19)

Pace- my pace in life often reflects what I see in this world. The willingness and discipline to rest is lacking when my eyes are open, looking for something to tell me what I already know and could experience if I would just shut my eyes and listen. Even when I do, by grace, make an attempt at this the resting pace, I often import to the process “sight-time” values (speed and efficiency) and thwart the very purpose of the exercise. There is no shortcut to experiencing what I am describing and it feels like dying before living. To slow your pace, as to read with your hands, is functionally freeing your hands of the productivity “sight” whispers to you, “this will make you whole.”

Isaiah 44:20- He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, "Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?"

Focus-My sight is often times at the center of my distraction. What I find my eyes fixated upon often gets my focus and my most valued emotional energy. In a world of multi-everything, where no one is doing just one thing at a time, and where it is celebrated that you can do so, the idea of focus has been minimized to the ability to accomplishing multiple things at one.

What I find odd is that most people now have a harder time just doing one thing at a time. That they are constantly consumed with the idea that they are missing something else, and therefore can never commit singularly to anything.

When I use the term focus, I use it in the sense that our sight must not be the driving informer of our decisions. That we shut our eyes to the prevalent cultural message that the fulfillment of the desire you have in your heart is out there somewhere and you better keep your eyes open for it, or you might miss it. Focus is the ability in real time to hear the words that speak in opposition to your sight. Focus is the ability to choose by grace to trust what you hear over what you might see, and feed that whisper, and never stop seeking it.

Matthew 10:26-27 “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”

Sleight of Hand, Sleight of Heart

2010-03-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 20:5-The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

Two days ago I was meditating and Lord brought a person to mind that I haven’t communicated with in roughly 15 years. We were friends from childhood and spent time together at college. Rick is his name. Rick was fascinated with sleight of hand magic tricks and was quite good at them when we were in college. After poking around on the internet this week, I came to find that Rick had gone on to become one of the best sleight of hand magicians in the world, wining the world championships in 2006.

If you have watched someone perform sleight of hand magic, especially in person, it is amazing to say the least, in that things that are seemingly impossible are happening with such ease, and at such proximity to oneself, that wonder is the only possible response. I sat in my office watching youtube videos in wonder of my old friend Rick, and his ability to make the impossible, possible.

I still wondered why the Lord had brought Rick to mind. Sleight of hand was about to reveal sleight of heart.

Last night I went to watch the film The Book of Eli with a friend. He isn’t a magician, but in the realm of the heart and spirit, he reveals and conceals with the same efficiency and effectiveness. If sleight of heart were actually a measurable thing, like sleight of hand magic, well then he would be a world champion. Sleight of heart needs some defining.

In Sleight of hand magic, the basic premise is to get someone’s attention, even if for a moment fixated somewhere else, in order that in that split second, in an ordinary and relatively normal movement, an object may be manipulated for the purposes of harmless deception.

Sleight of heart is similar in the sense that our eyes often must be taken off of a particular thing, even if for a split second, in order that in that fraction of time, the heart of the truth may be revealed. Revelation is the currency of this trade.

A master in sleight of heart is someone who knows the tendency of human nature so acutely, has studied himself and his habits infinitely, has mastered the ability to retain focus in fractional timeframes, and never looses sight of the most important thing at any given moment. It is someone who is singular in they’re approach to life, knowing with certitude regardless of circumstance. For a master of sleight of heart to be a Christian, it means someone who functionally lives by grace the words of Deuteronomy 32:47-They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. To be a master, you must first be mastered. there is no other way.

When life is found, and one stops searching to find, but playing to understand, Laughter replaces despair and revelation replaces seeming ruination. For every moment then becomes an opportunity, regardless of circumstance, to fall into wonder, even when we wonder why.

Psalm 119:18-Open my eyes that I may see the wonderful things in your law.

You still watch Curious George? I do. And he's no monkey.

Stand in the place where you live- REM

2010-02-22T06:50:00.000-08:00

“Now you have to stand in desire, all your life long, if you are to make progress in the way of perfection.” –the cloud of unknowing

To stand in desire for any extended period is to acknowledge with heart, mind, and body that what it is we are created for, we are ultimately waiting to be brought to a eschatological completion. Standing in desire seems impossible due to the momentary “fixes” available to us that distract our desire form its origins and attach it firmly to a more apparently manageable and attainable end. Yet they can’t deliver. And like those who have been blinded, we go about groping to grab hold of someone or something, when allowing our selves to be grasped is the only thing that leads to our desires satiation and eventual fulfillment.

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”-St. Augustine

Job 28

"There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore. Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness; Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft, in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from men he dangles and sways. The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire; sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold. No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon's eye has seen it; Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there. Man's hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains. He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures. He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light. "But where can wisdom be found?  Where does understanding dwell?
Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living. The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.' It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver. It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires. Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold. Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold. "Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air. Destruction and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.' God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.

And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding."

To stand in desire, means sit (active resting) in the truth. To sit in the truth means to rest in not experiencing everything you already have. To experience that rest, means to wage war against the lie that resting in desire, means you do not have what you’re looking for. To stand in desire, is to sit long enough, to fight the right fight, to rest, in order to receive the peace to continue to stand. Simple enough to be thoroughly confusing huh?

Seeing clearly

2010-02-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

(NIV) 2 Peter 1:5-9
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; [6] and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; [7] and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. [8] For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. [9] But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

(NIV) Psalm 119:18
Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Open eyes are required to see beauty beneath the weight of a hard to face reality. Nearsighted blindness is a chosen judgement of anothers reality without acknowledgement of equal need of deserved judgment. You have to shut your eyes to prevent seeing your reflection in anothers eyes. Open eyes lead to humble tongues, restorative love, and an invitation to repentance through not having to do so alone.
Ineffective and unproductive is having a blind man give you LASIK surgery. Careful you aren't wielding a scalpel with a blindfold on. Be even more careful if your holding a scalpel if you've never been cut in the same manner.

(NIV) Luke 6:41-42
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? [42] How can you say to your brother, `Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

God never invites you into His doing something in someone He first doesn't do in you. That's why that huge list of things to add to in 2 Peter 1 is about reception not self generated addition.

(NIV) John 9:32-33

[32] Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. [33] If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."

Sent from my iPhone

Weather Man

2010-02-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

(NIV) Ecclesiastes 11:4
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

There is never a "good" time to do what the lord is calling you to do. Circumstances always tend to dictate our movment, when often times, what we have the ability to actually see, not unlike wind and clouds, we cannot control nor predict the outcome.

(NIV) Ecclesiastes 11:5-6
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. [6] Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

The call of obedience is sowing your seed with no guarentee of exactly what you will end up harvesting. For this to happen obedience to our feelings (which often gets or fiercest loyalty) must cease to be our our cornerstone, the functional trust of our hearts and minds. Faith is the active hope that whatever is harvested, it is Gods will for you and therefore good for you, even if it takes the form of suffering. "Sucess" can be redefined and redeamed from "getting what you think you need for your life" to recieving anything with even joyful anticipation that Christ brings into our lives. How?

When what you think you need gets minimized appropriately by who you are actually with.

(NIV) Genesis 15:1
After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. "

Homebody

2010-02-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

(NIV) Isaiah 32:17-19
The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. [18] My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. [19] Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely,

Confidence and peace. Two things everyone I know desires for their lives. Fruit is grown from a source that determines it's nature and substance. Feeding upon that fruit produces desirable effects. Peace is a term conotating satisfaction and fullness. If peace is the fruit, and righteousness is the source (John 15), this then requires us asking what is the source of righteousness?

(NIV) Romans 3:21-22
But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. [22] This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

(NIV) Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

The effect of feeding upon the fruit of peace, feeding being actively resting in Christ's righteousness rather than something or someone else, is quiet confidence that exists beyond circumstance.

Peacful dwelling places, secure homes, and undesturbed places of rest in a flattened forest and a leveled city?
Must mean your actual home wasn't in the forest or the city.

(NIV) 2 Peter 3:13
But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.

(NIV) Hebrews 11:13-14
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. [14] People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.

Sleeping with the enemy

2010-02-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

NIV) Psalm 110:1
The Lord says to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand until I make your
enemies a footstool for your feet."

When your enemy is you, then resting is the hardest battle to
recognize and fight. It's difficult because sitting with the Lord
looks and feels on the surface like stagnation, when infact it is
active pasivity with a intentional focus.

A doctor performing a surgery never asks the person on the table why
they arent doing more to help.

(NIV) Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village
where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a
sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he
said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had
to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my
sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help
me!" [41] "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and
upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has
chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Courage often has the appearance of doing nothing-George Landolt

more than meets the eye

2009-05-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 42:20 - He sees many things, but does not observe them; his ears are open, but he does not hear.

Those who can only “see”, only find what it is they are in search of. Those who grow to “observe”, have learned through humility born of suffering, what was brought to them to understand. Openness is only the first part of a two-part equation, both of which are equally dependant upon grace. The second part, actually “hearing” (understanding) only occurs when you first are brought to the point that you truly have no idea what it is that you are looking for, or actually need.

This is often times the where the crucible of given trial finds us, with us, rarely understanding that through it, the humility and tenderness to the spirit that is required for observation, is cultivated.

Isaiah 42:25- it set him on fire all around, but he did not understand; it burned him up, but he did not take it to heart.

When all my eyes and heart have time for seeing is pleasure and comfort, and this is what we undoubtedly look for most days, (and subconsciously believe is God’s will for our lives), then it is probably safe to say that my “observation and hearing” are self-realized rather than spirit led. This should cause us to take a serious halt and ask to be led by the spirit consider what parts of my life (maybe all of it?), are living under this delusion.

Observing and truly hearing are products of revelation not self-motivation. That means truly hearing starts with asking questions and waiting for answers rather than “hunting” for truth you could no sooner find on your own than you could speed up going through puberty.

Isaiah 42:16 -And I will lead the blind , in a way that they do not know,  in paths that they have not known , I will guide them.  I will turn the darkness before them into light,  the rough places into level ground.  These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.

Silence gives way to silence. Absence gives way to presence.

2009-04-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

This is a letter that I wrote and old friend. He and I don't see much of one another in this season of our lives. I am aware that the past few years have been quite difficult for him for a variety of reasons. His wife asked myself and a handful of other men to write him a note of encouragement. This is what came out. The Lord ministered to me deeply through listening to him in order to write it. I needed to receive what was wrote as much as my friend. thought I'd pass it along. Below is the letter.

To be honest I have really struggled to know what to put on this page, knowing from a somewhat safe distance that much of the past few years have been a struggle, one which at times has left you quite speechless and directionless. It seems arrogant or insensitive to write you a “note of encouragement” when I truly am so relatively uninvolved in your day-to-day life and journey. That said, I hope this note will come to you not as anything but a letter from a fellow pilgrim, who has journeyed through some long and low seasons at this point, who longs to rally hope in your heart. The handful of times the Lord has given us over the past few years I have always enjoyed and He has impressed upon me in those times the deep weight of the somewhat undefined struggle that marks this season of your life, vocation, and marriage. I remember being on the farm, after being, for all realistic purposes, fired from Christ Pres, knee deep in hog shit cleaning a hog barn, and feeling so lonely and sad that I was unsure of everything in my life. I remember many times falling to my knees in complete isolation screaming at God for answers to my questions, so broken down at that point that even posturing myself reverently before God was a complete impossibility. I was so fucking scared. I wondered if this was the rest of my life. For many days my cries were met with silence. Many days.

Sometime, there wasn’t a particular day, or even event, but something slowly began to give way. I was out of tears and out of words. I was finally silent. Finally quiet. Done talking, thinking, processing, wrestling, arguing, demanding, expecting. God’s silence gave way to my silence and I was finally able to hear Him, maybe for the first time. When I started to hear, it wasn’t big sentences or even answers to any of the questions I had been asking, in fact, all the sudden He was asking the questions. They were deeper questions, ones that penetrated my questions. Questions that left me silent, left me in a posture to receive not the answers, but finally experience He who is behind all questions and answers. This was something I had never before experienced. It was something that slowly and painstakingly over time became life to me in that season. Jesus, for possibly the first time, had broken into my life, slowly, painfully, broken through. In spite of me, my arrogance, my self-sufficiency, my pride, he broke through. He led me through suffering to silence and I finally heard His voice. And the fact that I actually heard all of the sudden was more important than what I heard. Just hearing brought a new sense of joy and peace untied to my need for answers. We started this long walk. Along the way Jesus has addressed some of the things I was pleading about. Many of those things are still uncertain. The difference is his presence in the silence, and the growing experiential reality that his presence was what all my pleading was truly all about. And so we walk.
Praying that God’s silence will give way to yours. That you could rest there. Experiencing Jesus in that silence, and the peace that comes with his presence. You’re not alone. Dave – Psalm 46:10

“ Beneath our clothes, our reputations, our pretensions, beneath our religion or our lack of it, we are all vulnerable both to the storm without and the storm within, and of we are ever to find true shelter, it is with the recognition of our tragic nakedness and need for true shelter that we have to start. Thus it seems to me that this is also where anyone who preaches the gospel has to start too- after the silence that is truth comes the news that is bad before it is good, the word that is tragedy before it is comedy because it strips us bare in order to ultimately clothe us.” -Frederick Buechner

“At our most primitive we are storytellers and dancers.” – Anne Lamont

2009-02-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

I had a good friend tell me once that if we could see our best attempts to communicate truths that are eternal, through the eyes of Him who is eternal, the greatest thoughts grasped, would in our feeble attempts to express and convey them, be as a child scribbling with crayons. It’s a humbling thing to come to grips with the profound limitations of our human self, and to realize that although everything within our flesh wants to deny such limits, we are here by grace, getting through this by grace, and therefore must communicate what we have received not “thought”, only from a posture of such grace.

I was exposed to the above quote by another good friend. She is someone who is clearly on the journey of not just cognitively knowing, but experientially understanding, what I stated in the above paragraph. So what exactly is a storyteller and a dancer? Why would I compare that with a child scribbling with crayons? A child only attempts to draw what he or she has seen, and often struggles to recreate on paper what is so clearly in their minds.

I have often times tried to guess what my son has drawn on a piece of paper. Due to the limits of his two-year-old vocabulary and ability to string words together, this can lead to a great deal of frustration for both if us. He becomes quite annoyed when he is trying his best to help me understand what he has drawn and I’m not getting it. It’s easy in the moment to forget that it is not just me, but in fact he, that is having the communication problem. Every part of my adult self is far further developed and capable to that of my toddler son. Consequently, in that moment, seeing him suffer, to help me know what He is trying to communicate, I rarely feel it is my fault, my inability, my lacking, that is causing this misunderstanding.

Yet when I try and communicate with him, the same tension applies. I search for ways and words to communicate what it is I am trying to get him to understand, but often times my most creative efforts simply have no ability to overcome the developmental gap. We are at an impasse of communication, unable to understand one another. Sounds simple and straightforward when looking at this in the picture of a two year old and an adult. But this picture may be far closer to the reality of our situation with communication with the Lord. But in this instance, the communication gap is entirely more one sided. The Lord is trying to communicate with us, and we are the ones with no capabilities; we need outside help, we need the Holy Spirit. He’s the only one who can teach us what “our” stories are really about, and why we are free to dance.

1 Corinthians 2:14 -man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

The tension is created when my perspective is that the ability to communicate any truth, or understand that truth, lies within my natural self. Even in saying this must be careful because I believe scripture is clear that it is the “indwelling” of the Holy Spirit that makes truth proclaimed or understood possible (John 14:20). When I am saying “lies within my natural self,” I am saying without need of anything by my own rational, faculties, and capabilities, uninfluenced by Gods grace. We are so desperately dependent upon the Holy Spirit to guide us, and it is our pride-laced unwillingness that manifests itself in frustration that proves it. So what’s the alternative?

To hear (to listen, receive, and understand) the larger redemptive story, and tell our stories to one another in light of the larger story (proof of understanding). And as a result respond to what we have received by dancing (celebration and gratitude).

Dancing is the ultimate expression of being lost in something larger than you. We only dance when we are free and uninhibited, when we have slipped from the center of our focus and realize the truth that our story, is a valued part of the greater redemptive story that God has been writing since the creation of the world. It is when we experientially “brush up” against this truth that we stop being simply peddlers of our own limited tale, and begin to speak as humble co-authors or the great story that is being told to all the earth. When this shift occurs for us, the pressure of the “story is all about me” and all it’s of narcissism-paralyzing-side-effects begins to wane. We dance because we are free from the weight of a self-centered existence. We tell our stories with freedom and humility, soaked with the grace in which they are wrought. And we call others to be storytellers and dancers as well. Dancing is only foolishness if the cross isn’t real.

2 Samuel 6: 16- 22

As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

They brought the ark of the LORD and set it in its place inside the tent that David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings before the LORD. After he had finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD Almighty.Then he gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates and a cake of raisins to each person in the whole crowd of Israelites, both men and women. And all the people went to their homes.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"

David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

1 Corinthians 1:18 -the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

I hope you wore comfortable shoes.

You don't know nothing about this, take me home, home, home, home. - Marc Broussard

2009-01-15T21:07:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 14:10-Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.

Over the past year of my life, I have spent countless hours processing the idea of what community is and can be, and the possibilities that exist to have a deeper experience of God through our relationships with one another. Others and myself have dialogued, prayed, look at scripture, and wrestled greatly with this reality and have asked the Lord to reveal to us what it is that true “gospel-centered, transformational community” looks like.

It is within this context that the above verse was brought to me by the Lord through meditation on the scriptures one day in the past month, and through the Holy Spirit’s revelation, I felt as though I had stumbled upon something so true and pure it terrified me. And that some things are so true you have to learn them again every day.

The gospel-centered, transformational community that I have been seeking to understand and desiring to cultivate for our church is ultimately subservient to a community with Christ himself that isn’t just beneficial to, but wholly essential to the formation of the latter. Simply put, if my community with Christ himself isn’t growing at least to the degree that my community with others within whom Christ dwells is, the community with others is destined to disappoint.

Avoiding disappointment isn’t the object of what I am stating, rather a seemingly subtle, yet massively important shift, is the nature of this revelation and consequent invitation. Namely, do you understand your need to experience the person of Christ firsthand, and the catastrophic impact of not doing so, on even the greatest most godly of relationships.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book life together states talks about our “life together under the Word.” It is a simple statement but carries with it massive implications for it assumes that for us as Christ followers, true community is only had when both parties are “under” the Word. Another way of stating this is that the vantage point from which we view relationships and our lives together is viewed exclusively through the lens of scripture. The problem with that is that we have in modern times treated scripture as a text to be learned, rather than a relationship to be experienced. It is the difference between approaching scripture for information to take with us and go “work”, or approaching scripture relationally for formation, that the truth found within the scriptures needs to and can “work” us.

John 1:14-The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

It is hard at times to remember that when we approach scripture we aren’t coming to a text to be mastered, but to be mastered by a person who in Spirit inhabits our very selves and purposes to transform not just our minds but bodies into His very likeness. We come to scripture be taught not to self-teach. We come to receive, not to self-discover, to be revealed to, not self-enlighten. We come to experience someone rather than learn about them. And if we don’t, we will and do spend all of our lives seeking that experience though something temporal and unable to fulfill our desire. And why is because the desire inside of us is not something we conjure, but something lodged within the very fabric of our selves by God himself.

Ecclesiastes 3:11b- He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

This is why understanding Proverbs 14:10 is so essential. Without a daily experiential recognition of the fact that no one but Christ himself knows the depths of my heart, the sorrow that resides there, and the joy that it experiences, I will undoubtedly look to something or some one temporal to satisfy this eternal longing. It is only living first personally “under His Word” that we then are able to receive and cultivate healthy, gospel-centered, transformational community. It is only when through our community with Christ himself, and his transformation of us, that we can move into “life together” with one another and not make an idol of community, and consequently killing it and ourselves, trying to get from it, what it cannot give.

Mind The Gap.

2009-01-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

Romans 7:19- For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing

Modern Translation- Why the $%!@ do I keep on doing this…#@$%?

“There has always been a gap between the ideals people espouse and the way they live, between knowledge and behavior, intellect and character. The difference today is not that the discrepancy exists but that our modern expectations do not cater to it. Ancients understood that it was only in admitting the gap between what you profess and how you perform that growth and maturity could take place.” –Rebecca Manley Pippert

Are you ever surprised by your sin? I often times find myself completely jaw-dropped at my capacity to live completely counter to what I know in my heart to be the truth. Do you know why we are surprised? Pride. I hate to make it that simple, but it is. And the fact that you are fighting right now to make it something more than that, to find some more complicated explanation, proves that very point.

Ecclesiastes 7:29 –“This only have I found: God made mankind upright, but men have gone in search of many schemes."

Psalm 10: 4-“In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God”

Our scheming hearts are relentless factories of deception, constantly pumping out false confidence in a “self,” that if we were to see through the pure lens of the gospel, would cause us without question or reservation to cast all of our hope fully on God’s grace. We simply can’t believe that we are really that fallen, that broken, that desperate, that needy, that helpless, that powerless, that depraved. But that’s exactly what we are apart from Christ.

That is what Pippert is referring to in the above quote when she states, “The difference today is not that the discrepancy exists but that our modern expectations do not cater to it.” The modern mind is fixated on the idea that although we may need some help (grace) from time to time, ultimately with a little more fine tuning we can actually get our lives and sin under control. We are immersed in a self-help society that believes with the right plan, and some good old-fashioned hard work, we can fix this. Were wrong. And the ever-undulating state of our visceral lives is often all the proof we need.

This begs the question, so what do we do? We repent and rest (in Christ himself), as opposed to self-flagellate and double the effort. And we do so often.

Isaiah 30:15 "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

We can’t truly repent if we can’t acknowledge our real need and its scope. We can rest unless we know the truth.

Psalm 16:9-11 “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

It is in our need of Christ, in our posture of humility, in our honesty of our utter inability to within ourselves to live out what He has led us to believe, that we find the starting line, the often “daily” repeated first steps into a deeper journey of seeing our lives in the physical world, begin to reflect what we have more fully grasped in the spiritual.

Romans 7:24-25 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

This ain't no chicken before the egg question.

2009-01-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

Psalm 4:5- Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.

Psalm 4: 7 -8: You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

It is hard to comprehend at times the connectedness between our ability to trust the Lord and our apparent need to act “right”. For real trust to be birthed and experienced, the “right” sacrifices are necessary, but what we have often determined are the “right sacrifices”, are in fact, pride-born self-righteous acts that can never lead us to the joy and peace marked real trust in the Lord.

Psalm 51:17- the sacrifices of the Lord are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you will not despise.

The “right sacrifices” that the Lord is after have nothing to do with our actions but more a state of heart that leads to a acting posture of trust. For real, whole-hearted trust to be present, it is marked by a complete and utter un-self righteous dependence. This is where it gets tricky in our self-sufficient society, which teaches us through self-help techniques, and positive reinforcement we can create, manifest, and “live out” with confidence the cognitive and emotional state of joy, peace and trust. When we inevitably fail to do so, and our lack of joy, peace, and trust is exposed, we become prime candidates for needless loathing in guilt and shame. Yet scripture is clear that true joy and peace is the by-product, not predecessor, of trust. And trust is preceded by grace, not effort.

It’s hard to quantify how much time I spend feeling ashamed that my feelings and emotional state don’t often reflect what I believe. I can spend endless amounts of emotional energy trying to change how I feel to reflect what I “believe”, rather than shamelessly taking my fear, anger, and doubt (unbelief and brokenness) to the Lord for him to comfort, and therefore give way to trust (belief).

The conflict is twofold. It is one of order and origin. First lets deal with order. As the psalmist states, “right sacrifices” precede trust, and that the sacrifices of the Lord are a broken and contrite heart. Therefore we can see that attempting to produce an emotional state of “joy” which reflects trust is not just unnecessary, but impossible. It also shows us that we still have a deep seeded resistance to needing God for anything, and our relentless desire to “prove” to God that although others need his grace to trust, we somehow have escaped and are above such poverty of self.

Yet scripture is clear that it is in our brokenness, in our contriteness (marked by sorrow, not joy), that is the road (“right sacrifice”) to real trust, which gives birth to joy and peace.

We have the order backwards. Joy only after sorrow. Trust only after humility and brokenness. Trust never is born on strength of self, but weakness given way to firm reliance in someone truly strong. We must understand this order, for if we don’t, needless hours, days and even years of our lives can be marked by trying to trust in God, rather than letting him lead us into trust, trying to live with joy and peace, rather than assuming a posture that allows Him to “fill our hearts with greater joy” and cause us to “sleep in peace.”

This answers our origin question. The origin of joy, or trust, of peace, for the Christ follower is never found or had without the “right sacrifices.” It is our pride and unwillingness to approach Christ broken that keeps us from experiencing Christ and consequently the peace and joy we desire. Christ himself is the author of our peace, joy and trust. It is only in his presence that we have a hope of experiencing such states of grace, which transcend our daily circumstances. All else is self-motivated, soon to let down, frail, humanistic shadows of the ruddy grace and God-given trust that we need to get through this broken life.

Psalm 5: 5 – The arrogant cannot stand in your presence.

Mark 9:24 – I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.

Call and Response

2008-10-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

Call and Response-

This weekend I was invited to lead a panel discussion on a film titled “call and response,” a documentary film shedding light on the issue of human trafficking, and its pervasiveness in the world today. It was a sobering and convicting film to say the least, shining a glaring spotlight on this issue and it’s need to be addressed.

As my mind was inundated with the images, sounds, and truth concerning the reality that there are “more slaves in the world today than any other point in human history,” and that people, and in particular children, are daily being reduced (further de-humanization) to a commodity to be sold for labor or sexual means, I oddly found my mind being led to consider not just how I was going to necessarily “respond” to this tragedy, but how I was likely to be partially responsible for this ever occurring in the first place. That is to say that, is it possible, that through some of my seemingly “disconnected” daily decisions, that appear on the surface to not have such grave consequences, when “looked at” through a broader lens, and put in the context of the naively denied reality of the “connectedness” of all things (which is denied only because if faced, the gravity of our actions would be to great to ignore), that I may be just as much apart of the problem as the man who is pimping out kids in on the streets of Bangkok.

Cornell West suggests that the gospel affords us, in the prophetic tradition, to “humbly direct your strongest criticism at yourself, and then speak self-critically your mind to others with painful candor and genuine compassion.” With this in mind, lets take the deeper more painful journey to look into our own culpability in this issue of human trafficking.

Galatians 5: - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

A simple question that I can ask is this, how do I find myself, consciously, or more than likely, subconsciously, experientially “falling out” of the freedom that is afforded and secured for me in Christ, and consequently living “under the burden” once again of any yoke of slavery? That it to say, that I somehow forfeit the grace that has been given me (Jonah 2:8), though not loosing it in actuality, only neutering it in it’s pervasiveness, to be the grounds by which, and the place from which, all of my “life”, and consequently my actions flow.

How this looks on the street is that although I “appear” and claim to be free, I find that my actions, which flow from decisions that are informed and motivated by values, which are rooted undoubtedly in my beliefs (what I hold to be truth), do not reflect the freedom that I claim to “live in.” It is this disparity between belief (truth claim) and action, between “held belief” and “displayed fruit” (Matthew 12:33) that is at the root of how I see the “connectedness” of this issue, and how I can be found culpable, in some form or fashion, about an issue such a human trafficking, that only days ago I was totally unaware of.

The most practical way I see this fleshing out in my own life and in the life of others is the slavery to consumerism and materialism that is inbred and woven tightly into the mindset of most western Americans. As a result of the globalization of economies and information, and the syncretism of systems of belief, the resultant has cultivated now a pervasive “entitlement”, or at the least “desire”, in most all humanity and people groups that the “goal of life” is to gather enough materials (money) to ensure happiness and comfort, which might as well be deities of modernity. As it appears in culture today, the American dream has been reduced to a “free for all, dog eat dog” playground for hedonism, narcissism, and materialism.

But what happens when my “entitlement” or desire, for a consumable product, is being realized by someone else’s freedom being taken from them? That is to say that, when does my sense of being “entitled” to having shoes, at a price that I think is right for me to pay, (even though that “price” requires someone in the chain of supply for that product, to be forced to produce that product, against their will and without pay), breakdown, and be found exposed for what it truly is, namely “selfish ambition.” How can I say as a Christ follower I deserve anything at the expense of the freedom of anther human?

This is where I find us all to be culpable for this issue. To ignore the “connectedness“ of all humanity, and the effects of one cultures prosperity, built upon the backs of another cultures depravity (enslavement), is only possible in a culture such as America, where we satiate our minds and minutes of every day with ample distractions, keeping us from fixating long enough to feel convicted about anything. This inability to have “sustained attention”(Gary Haugen), keeps us from ever making sizable, and lasting progress in such areas as human trafficking. We simply don’t have the attention span, and often the only thing that sustains attention, in our growing global “values”, are in their root forms purely narcissist, limiting therefore the willingness that is unquestionably required in the “dying to self” that leads to liberation of others.

Philippians 2 -Imitating Christ's Humility If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:   Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!

The mark of the gospel taking root in out lives, and beginning to bear fruit, is humility that takes on the form of sacrifice. Cornell West stated in the film, “justice is what love looks like in public.” The kingdom ethic that Jesus lived and imparted to us through the Holy Spirit is one of downward movement, of service to others, of laying down our lives. This is far beyond the “go green”, sexy semi-philanthropic displays of our secular culture, as good as they mean and are.

This call is a call to literally consider others better than yourself, to love others at least as much as you love yourself. For this to even be remotely possible, requires living in the reality of what has been done for us in Christ, which is constantly under “contest” in the attention spans of us all, but when experienced, affords us the capacity, fueled solely by grace, to suffer and lay down our lives (entitlement) for others. It requires a dying that is only possible when a hope experientially begins to be firmly fixed in our hearts and minds.

Romans 5: 3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I can’t get no, satisfaction. – Mick Jagger, The Rolling Stones.

2008-09-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

Hosea 13: 6- when I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me.

The paper-thin line between living in active gratitude of the reality that all of life is divine provision, and the pride swelling belief of a life committed to self-gained self-satisfaction, is one that few people walk well, if ever. We often are found to be a living contradiction of thought and action; rarely exercising in our daily lives the things that we hold to be true, in our grace-laden, gospel-sane minds.

This passage in Hosea struck me to be a beautiful example of this contradiction. It raises questions surrounding our quest for satisfaction, the realities of its lack of attainability and sustainability, and the consequent problems that result from our undeniable pursuit of it (satisfaction).

The most familiar thing to all of us in this passage is the reality of being found to be “hungry”, which is assumed from the need being stated in the passage of “being fed”. The beginning of this passage is the Lord describing what he did for Israel in brining them out of Egypt and feeding them in the dessert with manna from heaven. It is such a vivid image given to us in scripture to usher us into the reality that not only does God care about our most basic of daily needs, but he is capable of providing for those needs in the most supernatural of fashions, if it suits his will. But greater than the actual need of food for Israel in the Desert, was the need of trust and hope being experientially birthed and rooted in God as the provider of all things for His people.

To overlook this would be to miss a fundamental pattern that God has used throughout the history of the world to reveal himself to his people, namely his allowance or creation of a position of suffering for His people, to awaken them to their inability to save and provide for themselves, giving them the consequent experiential grounds to trust God more wholly. Our capacity to overlook this truth is rooted in one of two places; our societal commitment to never suffering (and the belief that if something is hard then it is wrong), and our societal commitment to self- sufficiency (pride) and the clear communication of our culture that the most “valuable” person is the one that needs nothing from anyone.

Lets look further at this issue of self-sufficiency. Most of us who are “in Christ” have been at least exposed to the idea, or have some sense of a theology, that all that we have is simply provided for us by the Lord, and is an act of his grace towards us, not a resultant of our merit, that indebts Him to us. Yet in our western American “Christiantopia” we have concocted a hybrid, compartmentalized practical theology that allows us in the recesses of our minds to cognitively believe that “all is an act of His grace” and yet live on the street as though “you reap what you sow.”

This is due to the diametrically opposed nature of the gospel to the dominant value systems of our world’s culture. The gospel is incompatible with the marketplace values that often typify most believers’ practical lives. To be in need of being “fed”, or to have your “satisfaction” being found dependant upon something outside of yourself is considered far to risky and to be avoided in today’s culture. The goal is to never need anything outside of yourself to “satisfy” your needs, to do so is far too speculative, putting yourself in the hands of another, and is considered in our conservative, self-protective climate, to simply be irresponsible. I often wonder if when we meet Christ if he will redefine our modern notion of irresponsibility with a more proper definition of perspective called “faith.”

The problem with all of this is that when I live in self-sufficiency, and even manage somehow to attain to the things that I long for that I believe will bring lasting satisfaction, they never do, and I am often off on another quest to find the next thing that I hope will fill the void. All of us can identify on some level with this cycle, but sadly few ever stop to ask this question. Is satisfaction something that is received or attained? That is to say, is the nature of satisfaction something that is fundamentally found in reception, or in achievement?

As I get older, it has become easier for me to see that all of the things that satisfy me most were things that were provided for me, ultimately as a result of factors far beyond my control, that I simply had to act to receive, rather than create for myself.

Isaiah 48: 17-18 This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

What is difficult about the above passage, especially as it pertains to the issue of satisfaction, is that the Lord is clearly saying that we need Him to teach us what is best for us. This is complicated because each person “feels” as though they already have some sense of what it is that is best for them, (which often times is nothing more that a learned behavior or desire that is subconsciously formed through means of some outward stimulus). That is to say that you think what’s best for you is to have great wealth, because it is shown to you though society, media, and culture that happiness and satisfaction are inexplicably tied to money. Yet if the outward stimulus that one was primarily exposed to was the teaching and kingdom ethic of Matthew 6:25-34, your sense of what is best for you would be radically different. One leads you to satisfaction in money (temporal), the other to satisfaction in the Lord’s provision (eternal).

Matthew 6: 25-34 Do Not Worry

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

For lasting satisfaction to be true, it requires the object of the satisfaction to be constant, unchangeable, and eternal. Anything short of this, though good in and of itself, and made for us to enjoy not worship (Isaiah 58), is merely a temporary substitute, a reflection of an eternal longing that will ultimately only be satisfied in Christ.

Genesis 15: 1 Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.

Desire makes everything blossom; possession makes everything wither and fade. Marcel Proust

2008-07-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 19:22 -What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.

Proust describes well the condition of a soul having not yet tasted of the unfailing love of God, in Christ Jesus. For in a world that promotes “personal” desire and the pursuit of it’s fulfillment as ones greatest call, the shipwrecked hearts of humanity line up in the wake of fulfilled desire, only seemingly attained, but then to be found left wanting once again.

We can all relate to Proust’s sentiment. Just simply look to your own desire for anything you have ever dreamed of having. Although for a time, once receiving the object of ones desire, we experience a sense of temporal satisfaction, most often those feelings are short lived and we are on to the next thing that we think will produce the same feeling, but potentially and hopefully, next time it will last longer. It only takes a handful of these experiences of receiving and then “groaning” (Romans 8:23) again for more, to teach our subconscious that possession (commitment) is not what we are really after, and attaches the chief value to the desire or “feeling” of wanting, not the actual reception of the desired thing; This is why most people love the “chase” of a relationship but get bored with it as soon as possession (commitment) is involved.

The problem with this thinking and consequent living is twofold. The first problem that arises is in value being attached to the desire, not the possession. This attachment insulates us from the opportunity to experience what it is we were made for, namely unfailing love. It also serves to place the focus of ones energy on the temporal nature of feelings, which can be swayed easily by something as simple as lack of sleep, and moves one away from the commitment that is had in possession, which in turn, can by grace lead to a deeper and fuller understanding of loves very nature. This inevitably continues to perpetuate a “what I want is still out there” mentality, that when attached to our desire, keeps us from experiencing a more mature love, that finds its inception in desire, but its fulfillment in sacrifice (commitment).

Secondly, it misunderstands the actual nature of our desire itself and forces us to address this question; are all my desires for various objects as real and independent of one another as they seem, or are all my desires simply a humanistic grasping at fulfilling something placed deep within me, that needs to be received and not attained? That is to say that when we experience in fullness the love and glory of Christ, the only thing that will fade, is everything else we thought we wanted instead.

C.S. Lewis would describe this misunderstanding of our desire in these terms. "We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

The shift occurs for us though the understanding that since the fall of man, we have lived under the “desire curse” of original sin, namely God is holding out on you, and what He has provided for you is not what you most deeply want. Eat the apple. Yet what was exposed in that deception and consequently engrained into the fabric of humanity was a pattern of “anxious grasping” for fulfillment, inevitably leaving one to be found still “wanting” even after possession. This condition was the precursor to the entire redemptive movement of God to his people through Christ. It is the redemption of the falsity of our need to possess something that will satisfy, with the truth that only in our being possessed, will our desire be fully quenched.

Deuteronomy 14:2 -for you are a people holy to the LORD your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the LORD has chosen you to be his treasured possession.

Revelation 5:9-they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.

We are the Lords desired possession. He purchased us by his blood, his sacrifice. It was not because we were in and of our selves something to be desired, quite to the contrary. We were helpless, sheep with out a shepherd (Matthew 9:36), even enemies of God (Romans 5:10). Yet his mind has been set on purchasing us since the foundation of the world and his unchanging and unfailing love is the force behind such action. Our souls and bodies long for an encounter with such eternal and unfading love. Anything short of this, is a temporal fix, that serves as a distraction, keeping our attentions nailed to incapable “phantom” loves than never quite do it.

“What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar.” What the writer of proverbs is saying is that it is better to have none of the things that you think you desire (to be poor), than to lie to yourself about what you truly want (unfailing love). For it is only in the experience of the eternal, unchanging and unfading love of God for us in Christ Jesus that in possession the object of our desire (Christ himself) does not fade, but daily thereafter grows increasingly by grace until one day, when our bodies and souls are fully redeemed, we will experience in full, what now we fully have (justification), but only experience in part (we are partially sanctified, and still await glorification– Romans 8).

The closer I’m bound in love to you the closer I am to free- indigo girls, “power of two”.

2008-06-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Galatians 5:1-It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Freedom as defined by our culture is the complete and utter independence to do whatever it is that I feel like doing, how I feel like doing it, when I feel like doing it. Anything short of this is seen as having limitations and boundaries set upon your freedom, and that is to be avoided or minimized at all costs. Most pursuit of wealth is rooted in trying to afford this scenario. If I just had more money (power), then I could afford more “freedom” (which is most likely misunderstood desire for control) in my life.

We see this often most clearly but not exclusively in relationships of the romantic nature. People struggling to commit to another, using language within themselves that is subconscious, yet purposefully confusing, that gives us spiritual words to dress up and take away the sting of our side of the situation, namely the extreme narcissistic commitment to our “self” and “freedom.” That’s not to say that to listen to real concerns in your heart (the Holy Spirit’s work- Job 38:36) about your ability to commit to a relationship with a person aren’t valid and necessary, but to place the reason for the lack of ability to commit, squarely on some personality defect in the other, or some incompatibility difference, often times is an overstatement that keeps us from looking at where we may be at the root of the problem.

The root of anything wrong is rarely ever one thing. Our reductionistic society demands that ultimate blame be placed squarely on a singular thing. Although at times this is possible (not probable), the journey to this conclusion is rarely useful, and often times allows us to overlook where our own fault lies. As long as greater or prior fault lies with another it gives us the mental “wiggle room” to not take seriously our sin or struggle in the matter. The problem lies within our misunderstanding of the freedom that we now are “in” as Christ followers, and the difference between it, and our cultural experience of “freedom.”

Dictionary.com defines freedom as philosophically “the power to exercise choice and make decisions without constraint from within or without; autonomy; self-determination: The power to determine action without restraint. So what is true biblical freedom if not in this traditional cultural expression and definition?

“Freedom to determine our own moral standards is considered a necessity for being fully human. This oversimplifies, however. Freedom cannot be defined in strictly negative terms, as the absence of confinement or restraint. In fact, in many cases, confinement and constraint is actually a means to liberation.” Tim Keller- The Reason for God (45)

The fundamental flaw lies in the fact that we are conditioned in culture to believe that we are free to begin with in this life. Scripture tells us differently in Ephesians 2:1, “we were dead in our sins and transgressions.” And that we were “slaves to sin”, before Christ redeemed us through his blood (Romans 6). This means that we start not in a position of entitled freedom, but in helpless slavery and death, from which we need to be rescued and brought to life. It is taught to us in culture that freedom is our right, something that we are entitled to, rather than an act of grace in our lives. Consequently we have very little understanding for the heart of the freedom that has been afforded for us by Christ.

Galatians 2:20- “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

The freedom that is ours to have and experience in the gospel is one that has boundaries. Culture would say that for it to have boundaries that the freedom is thus compromised and therefore not freedom at all. Yet we see it all the time in everyday life that boundaries can actually free you, rather than confine you. Look no further than Eric Clapton to see how the limitations and focus of a musician on a single instrument gave birth to a complete freedom within those bounds. The focus brought to an area allows one to develop freedom within that specific discipline to a degree that otherwise would go undeveloped had the “restriction” not been place. Therefore the conclusion that true “freedom” can only be had with no limits is to simple. In fact I would argue that the “freedom” of no limitations and its satisfaction is but a pale reflection of the satisfaction of expressing “full freedom” in a specific area.

Friends of mine joke that I made a deal, (I guess with God?) that I could be a great recreational athlete at any sport; the only catch was I could never be good enough in any of them to succeed on any platform higher than just basic recreation. I enjoy playing almost any sport, and can say with confidence (not arrogance) I’m pretty capable at most sports I apply myself to (barring golf, at which I suck, really, really suck.) Don’t get me wrong here, being able to “hang” in a variety of sports is a luxury that I don’t take for granted, but I would trade it all to be excellent in one sport, soccer. To excel, compete, and play soccer at the level I would like, would be worth trading in all other outlets and options. I realize that in one sense this would be limiting my freedom, but in another, exploding a new more “full freedom” that’s value would surpass the simple luxury of being a recreational sport chameleon.

This is not unlike the quote from the indigo girls I stated earlier and the heart of Galatians 5:1. It is in being “bound” to Christ, in loosing (dying to) our self, that we are found to be truly free, and as apart of his creation, under his redemptive movement, finally “fully human” and alive (Ephesians 2:4-5). I can see particularly in my marriage. Although I am limited now to being married to one woman, and therefore limited physically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially with the degree to which I can interact with other women, there is a depth of relationship that has been cultivated under this restriction (healthy desirous commitment) that would never be reached without it. The question that this leaves on the table and I believe is at the heart of biblical freedom is not the lessoning of the desire for a certain thing or scenario, but the willingness to be delayed in the receiving of these things, only accepting them in the timing and will of the Father, rather than living lives marked by anxious grasping for things that we “feel” we need in order to experience the freedom we desire.

Scripture tells us clearly that we are already free (Gal. 5). That there is nothing that I can gain (or loose for that matter) that can add to or lesson the freedom that is now mine in Christ Jesus. If this is true, then we must take honest assessment of our life patterns and see that the relentless pursuit of “more” is not really a pursuit of freedom, but often a deceptive slavery that sells itself to us as something better than what we already have. Often times we “buy in” and wake up down the road enslaved to something that told us if we just had this, then we would be free.

“If you ain’t first you’re last”- Ricky Bobby "So the last will be first, and the first will be last."-Jesus

2008-06-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

We laugh at this statement delivered by Ricky Bobby’s (Will Ferrell) dope smoking, racecar drivin wannabe, half drunk always, absent father in the movie Talladega Nights, but the sad truth is that many of us live our day to day lives as though our actual value is more closely aligned with this thought, than with what is true about us as a result of the Gospel and what has been accomplished for us in Christ.

We laugh because we realize in our rational minds the pure lunacy of this statement. But we live in a culture that promotes an “enjoy it while your on top because you wont be there long” mentality as well as a feverish commitment to vain attempts of constantly reinventing oneself, in order to continue reclaiming that “top-spot” that you were never allowed by culture to loose in the first place. Consequently, although it goes against our better understanding and the reality of the truth, we live most days overlooking ground gained and victories lodged in our faith and life journeys simply for no other reason than we still can see someone else who’s “ahead” of us. Consequently worship and gratitude of the Lord, and his work in our lives, is replaced with self-absorption and anxiety, birthed of not being somehow “enough”.

We live in a world that is constantly measuring things. We are told that is the only way to tell if something is worth anything; only by it’s being compared up against something that’s found to be lesser. We ritualistically compare ourselves from areas that are simple to recognize such as weight and “beauty” to the more subtle and complex areas of heart, motives, actions, and the impossible to ascertain, (due to it’s non existence), “personal righteousness.”

What we are told in scripture that simplifies this are statements such as Romans 3:10 (As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one.) as well as Romans 3:22-24 (This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.)

This leaves little room for real discussions about class systems within humanity and a sense of personally being in a place of “higher worth” or “value” in the eyes of God. Our standing before him is certain, unholy and unworthy, and only in Christ are we found to, by his substitutionary effort, be able to be brought back into relationship with God, and the process of being made in to “Christ-likeness” begins (Romans 8:29). The imperative thing to understand is that not just the initiation of our relationship is in God’s hands, but the fully realized reality (sanctification to glorification) of this secure relationship is brought about by his grace as well. Our position and consequent action is one of receiving from the Lord, which gives fuel and birth (grace) to righteous living. (Hebrews 10: 14-because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.)

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It’s God who began a good work in us. It is God who will bring it to completion. Our sanctification, although something we participate in, is wholly his work to author and perfect through the work of his son Jesus, and the indwelling Holy Spirit (Hebrews 12:2).

This allows us to put down the needless “life/spiritual yardstick” that offers an unnecessary measurement. As a result of being open handed, it frees us to be where we are, in the process that the Lord is leading, ready to receive what He has for us in this day. This open-handed, day to day approach doesn’t sit well in a “if your not first your last” society. In a culture consumed with “wining” it is tough to reconcile the words of Jesus "So the last will be first, and the first will be last. Matthew 20:16”

This statement was delivered by Jesus after he paid a man the same amount, (a days wages), as another man, even thought the first man had worked more than twice the hours. Although both men had agreed to the wage before the work, when the money got dolled out, what appeared as generosity to one man, looked as though, at the expense of injustice to another. Jesus response is profound; “don’t I have the right to do with my own money what I want?” Jesus, and His kingdom ethics, is breaking into a world already proving tethered to a “winning” mentality that takes desire and turns it into entitlement, and lives as though we “deserve”, rather than that all is an act of grace.

Jesus frees us from the “rule” of needing to be first. He gives us the freedom to love ourselves where we are, as he does, and live a life marked by receiving, rather than anxiously grasping, for value and meaning, that are only found ultimately in Him. Genesis 15:1"Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

Self-sufficiency vs. being seen as “needy” and its effects upon community.

2008-05-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that no one wants to be found to be in this day and age it is summed up in one word, “needy”. We live in a culture that values complete self-sufficiency and celebrates heavily individuals who are self-made, “need-no-one to get where they are going” success stories. This shift from cultures past and now ingrained emphasis on individualism in our culture has had a dramatic and devastating impact upon the capacity to form and sustain any sort of “real” community amongst any group of individuals. That is to say that if I rarely exercise any daily practical need of anyone, and my need of them is only a theoretical idea that I am left to implement, due to the fact that I have been taught that I “supposedly” need community, my actual experience of community will appear on the surface to look worthwhile, but the undercurrent will be one of dissatisfaction and feeling left wanting.

Romans 12: 4-5 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

This passage in Romans is not a mere suggestion of dependence and need of one another, but an absolute picture of the completely interwoven reality of our need for one another now that “in Christ” we are as one body. It is this deep sense of “belonging to all the others” that seems to be at the root of the tension, and therefore cultivating this lack of experience of us being truly “one body”, of which Christ is the head (Ephesians 5:23). This is most likely due to the undercurrent and subconscious communication that “belonging” really means that your “under possession” of something or someone, rather than “possessing” something or someone. This strikes at the heart of our world’s deep value system that ascribes ownership as the greatest expression of self-sufficiency (and therefore the highest of all its values) and consequently resulting in not being found ”needy” of anyone or anything.

The question this raises then is, what does Paul mean that we truly “belong” to each other? What does this mean in the context of how I understand the cultural climate resulting in the world’s call to me to be striving constantly to be in “possession” of things? In order that we may receive direction for these questions we must approach them as someone who experientially has tasted what Paul meant when he said that we are now those who “have died and our life is now hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). Paul states as well in Galatians 2:20 that “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

These passages speak to the reality that those who are in Christ are now marked and sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14 you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession-to the praise of His glory), and that the life we now live is not under our control and led by our preference, but is lived in faith that is a byproduct solely of God’s grace. It is only from this place of experiential understanding, due to what has been accomplished on our behalf through Christ by grace, that our allegiance to the cultural value of ownership and possession (control) of our lives can be practically freed and by grace hopefully realigned to the reality that we are apart of a singular body, of which we are apart, that which we do not own, but of which we have been made graciously, a valued part. It debunks the notion and illusion that ownership and possession are what gives me worth and value in this life, and plants firmly the flag of freedom in our hearts to see our value as immovable, solely because by God’s grace, we are apart of His body, we are His children, His heirs.

The illusion is simply this. What gives you value in this world, what proves to those around you that you have succeeded (peoples approval -which is undoubtedly the subconscious measuring tape we all apply), is that through ownership and possession, you have escaped being needy, and therefore have succeeded, because you have achieved what has been valued since the fall of creation, namely control of your life. But ownership and possession are but a false reflection, the illusion of control. It is only went the things that we think we own and possess are threatened, that our lack of control is exposed, and a clear choice is thrust into our path by the Father to either attempt to regain the illusion or step into the gospel reality, the fact that we are not in control, never have been, and never will be.

I saw a bumper sticker once on a carpenter’s truck that said, “borrowing tools is for the weak.” As someone who claims to be a carpenter, I have felt this very pressure exerted at times upon my subconscious. A small voice affirms the bumper sticker, “you are weak if you need to borrow someone else’s tools, you need to have your own stuff, you need to own it, in fact you need to buy two of every tool so you never have to loan out your “personal” tools but have “loaner” tools that “they” can use. Sounds sick huh? But it’s the truth. We are so afraid of being seen as weak, in need, needy, helpless, dependant, that we would even go into massive debt, living in an illusion of self sufficiency, rather than have to face the reality that we can't handle life on our own. Many people live in huge houses, with huge mortgages, with huge car payments, with huge credit-card balances, trying to keep this illusion alive.

It’s odd that we find ourselves surprised when we live like this in our day-to-day lives that we then we wonder why we don’t “feel” more in community with the people who we go to church with, live next to, and work with. Unless there is a recapturing of a healthy dependence upon one another (which is not a modern understanding/experience of neediness) and a biblical understanding of our “belonging” to one another, we will continue to live out vain attempts to foster true community.

“The emergency room is full of people doing something only every once and awhile.”-George Landolt

2008-05-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:11- “Give us today our daily bread”

While speaking with my friend George the other day about my feeling old and worn out after a day of physically demanding work building a stone wall, he said this to me, “the emergency room is full of people doing something only every once and a while.” We laughed, and I said I was going to write about that, and so here we are. It struck me funny what he said, but almost instantaneously the Lord used George’s comment to bring to mind a quite serious reality that I see played out often in my life and in the lives of the people I am in community with. Let me explain.

Often times I can find myself in an apparent state of emergency, that is to say, there is some crisis or pain that is affecting my life that I feel needs to be drastically different. Most of my time counseling with others and working with people is much the same. There is some crisis, and we are there meeting in order to resolve it, so that we can get back to life as we like it; namely, free of suffering, free of need.

In building this stone wall the other day I was using muscles that go unused most days in my life and as a result, in the wake of overuse, I found my body in a state of emergency, feeling horrible and unable to rest. Most people can relate to this in their attempts to “get back in shape” though diet and fitness, getting all excited about their new commitment to a healthier self, only to run 6 miles the first time out, and are so sore from that experience that they can’t run for a month.

What’s perplexing in all of this is the naive shock that is expressed when we are humbled by the limitations of our bodies. Yet we often do not consider that it is not necessarily the limitations of our bodies, but the limitations of our untrained, undisciplined bodies that has led to the physical duress. It is a similar situation with our spiritual self. When we spend little to no portion of our daily lives in receiving comfort, guidance, and nurture from the Lord though the Holy Spirit and His Word, why then would we expect that when any crisis in our lives is experienced, we would have the capacity to receive, not produce, the experiential access to the Father that does lead to the capacity to endure. This is like waking up tomorrow and trying to run a marathon with no training.

This is not saying that through adequate preparation you will be able to face anything that life throws your way, but what I am saying is that for you to be strengthened by the Holy Spirit and eat from the “bread of life (John 6)” you need to have some working familiarity with the person of Jesus. (John 10:27-My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.) Why would we expect to be able to follow Jesus, know his voice, to receive from Him what we need to face the pain of life, when He is as familiar to us as the discipline of regular exercise? Sadly our response to Jesus invitation to depend daily upon the Father through Him for all we need looks often like our vain attempts to shave 10 pounds for a spring break bathing suit; often started a little to late for the desired result.

John 4:53-58 “ Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your forefathers ate manna and died, but he who feeds on this bread will live forever."

Many disciples deserted Jesus after this teaching. The question is before us today. Do we believe what Jesus said when he stated that “my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink?” It is only when this reality breaks into the daily rhythms of our lives, that at the first sign of crisis and pain, we don’t pull a spiritual hamstring trying to get ourselves out of such emotional strain. We don’t sound the alarm and head to the emotional/spiritual emergency room because though our time encountering the person of Jesus we aren’t surprised by the pain of life (Isaiah 53:3- He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering), and aren’t confused about who has the power to comfort and redeem the pain (Isaiah 53:5-by his wounds we are healed).

George’s comment begs this question. Are we in the spiritual emergency room not because of a true crisis, but as a result of unbelief induced apathy that results in an “endurance-less” life that has no capacity through the Holy Spirit to endure and even have joy in the face of trials?

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Repentance that Leads to Rest.

2008-05-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 30:15-This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

Rest is a byproduct of peace, which is rooted in trust, that is born of faith and hope (which are both gifts), implanted in us by the Lord via the Holy Spirit. Trust is the antithesis of control. Control, and our absolute flesh plagued allegiance to it, is what robs us of rest, by removing the peace, through replacing trust, with a palatable lie. The lie is simply this; the rest that my soul was made for is something I can make happen, rather than something that I am powerless to manifest or sustain.

Oh but the lie tastes so sweet. You do have the power. You can have the control. It’s right at your fingertips. Just take the apple. God’s the one who’s lying.

We can all attest to being in this place. Having once again moved out of a gospel posture that we are invited through humility to assume always, and as a result have gotten busy trying to redeem our own lives and their circumstances. So how then do we reenter the rest our hearts so crave?

Satan is so committed to our being far from a gospel-centered rest that he would convince us through accusation that countless days of self-flagellating confession and penance (which is masked self-righteousness) will possibly suffice, if God is in a benevolent mood, but theirs no guarantee. His attempts and their focus are to try and twist even our repentance into some sort of control rooted in pride (I have the power to feel bad enough to deserve forgiveness and restoration.)

We only reenter the rest through true repentance. Psalm 51:17 -The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

A broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart. It is only when we are truly broken, that the soil of our hearts is fertile enough to receive from Him the rest that is only He can manifest and sustain. He increases our faith, strengthens our hope, births trust that allows us to let go of the “apparent” control we are trying to assume and allows us to experience His nearness in our pain which leads to peace (Ephesians 2:14 For he himself is our peace). This peace in turn leads to our much longed for rest.

Such brokenness is at the heart of repentance that leads to rest. (2 Corinthians 7:10 -Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret). It is important here that we recognize that it is only “Godly sorrow” that leads us to this place; sorrow that is not self-generated from personal analysis, but a reaction to being led by the Holy Spirit himself to a more full understanding of our sin. (John 8:7-8-Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt). And it is only in such a state of brokenness that we find the comforting words of the Psalmist to have such significant meaning and that we find rest in the peace afforded through His “nearness”.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

“Bow down while your knees still bend, bow down while your knees still bend, the Masters calling, the Masters calling ”- Thad Cockrell

2008-05-04T15:11:00.001-07:00

The past week has been riddled with difficulty in prayer. I feel restless, like I am searching for something, waiting for the Lord to say something, clear things up for me, give me some sense of direction and his will in a specific area of my life. Yet, if I am willing to allow the Lord to reveal to me what is honestly going on in my sub-conscious while praying, I’ve found my mind is far more dominated by acts of self-analyzation and vain attempts to “crack open” God’s mind on the matter, than a posture of truly listening to Him, marked by a deep sense of rest and trust that the Lord will reveal to me what he desires to, in His time and according to his pleasure. This rest allows us to be at peace, even when the desired response we seek from God isn’t given.

Galatians 5:25- “since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit”

The humbling truth is that often I don’t want to stay in step with the Spirit; I want to stay a step ahead of the Spirit. A step ahead would seem to remove so much tension, so much anxious waiting, the need to be patient and listen, and replace the need to receive with the “feeling” of control. Another side effect that undoubtedly occurs is the elimination of the necessary relational engagement between the Lord and myself for peace to be imparted to us. Although the Lord is not bound by time, we as humans are, and therefore can only receive in the present what the Lord has for us in that moment. This is why staying in step with the Spirit isn’t a mere suggestion but a command given to us by Paul. What Paul is saying is that now that your very life is “hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)” the only useful thing to do is to stay in step with the Spirit by which you now live.

Prayer often times is the vehicle not just by which I stay in step with the Spirit, but often the door through which I discover just how out of step I truly am. The Lord often specifically exposes the focus of my prayer, such as getting an answer from him on a unclear and painful situation, to reveal that the relational “yoking” that He invites us into when we are weary (Matthew 11:28), is not truly what I am after. To say it simply, Jesus I don’t want you, I just want you to fix this situation. But if we find that He often isn’t fixing the circumstances we so despise, yet is still clearly calling us into prayer (continually; 1 Thessalonians 5:17), why then would we pray?

Is it possible that our prayer to the Lord is not our self-derived attempt to communicate with God the desires of our hearts, but rather the response of our “spirit alive” hearts, to His calling of us? Revelation 3:20- here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Is it possible that the lack of response often times that we feel from the Lord to the things that we are brining to him is not as a result of his indifference on the matter, but our misunderstanding that what has brought us to Him in prayer was not primarily our desire to see the circumstances remedied, but what was underneath that desire, our spirit’s paramount desire, namely communion with God himself? Often times the circumstances that are causing me such duress are so much the focal point of my prayer that I miss the reality that it is the very things that I am dealing with that are the pathway that has brought me to this place of helplessness and leaning relationally into Jesus. This nearness to Christ, this “staying in step with the spirit” is the place from which I can enter the rest Jesus speaks of in Matthew 11.

Prayer is a means grace that leads to potential rest. It is often times because of our inability to rest that we approach the Lord in prayer, hoping that he would remedy some of the circumstances that are causing us the anxiety. If we are willing, prayer can become the place of rest we are seeking that on the surface we only believe possible with circumstantial change. It teaches us what our hearts truly desire; that which God told Abraham in Genesis 15, “I am you reward”. What we truly desire is to experience the nearness of God himself.

George Croly- “ I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies, no sudden rending of the veil of clay, no angel visitant, no opening skies, but take the dimness of my soul away.”

The circumstances of this life and this world, all of its worries and trappings serve as a dimmer for the brilliance and wonder of what we have already been given fully in Christ. Prayer brings me back near to Christ, the very personal source of the “light” that illuminates my soul, that I may see more clearly all that I do have in Him, and in His radiance, is dimmed all that the world says I still yet need.

Philippians 4: 5-7: The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What’s mine, What’s God’s, and maggot living.

2008-04-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hosea 2:5- She said I will go after my lovers, who gave me food and water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink.”

In a self-promoting, self-sustaining culture and world that teaches us to need nothing outside of ourselves for anything, the idea that all I have is a gift from the Lord, not a result of my hard work or merit, simply doesn’t compute. To not just consider, but believe and receive that all I have been given, including my suffering (Job 2:10), as a gift from the Lord, is one of the greatest challenges facing a Christ follower in today’s world. But to not consider going on the journey of growing in our willingness to receive that this is the truth, creates a myriad of complications in other areas of our walk with Jesus. Our unwillingness to look at this area is in my estimation on of the greatest crippling factors in our understanding and development of meaningful community with one another.

So where is the line? What is mine? What of mine is the Lords? How can I tell? For me this journey has been made clear through the suffering of loss, and consequently the exposure of my true belief in this area. Scripture is infinitely clear that all I have is the Lords. (Chronicles 29: 11 Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours).

It’s not just that all I have has been given to me from him, and can be taken from me at his decision, but that it actually is His possession of which I am simply entrusted. Job’s response to the absolute decimation of life as he knew it, makes clear the truth that we are all invited to live in. Job 1:20-21:At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Only a man who understands that all he had is a gift from the Lords hand could even utter words of worship in a time of such distress and loss. It is humbling to even consider my lack of gratitude for the gifts that the Lord has given me, as well as my quick emotional flight in times of suffering, questioning even the presence of God in my life. My lifestyle of self-protection proves that down deep I don’t trust that these are truly gifts, and that I am the only one looking out for me.

Not unlike the Israelites in Hosea, I have such a broken understanding of the provision of the Lord. That it is He who provides me with the money that buys my food, my wine, my clothes, etc. Often times the Lord took Israel through seasons of suffering to teach them to depend on the Lord for even the smallest of daily details such as food (manna in the desert Exodus 16). But not unlike Israel in the desert, my propensity to gather more than I need, rooted in the fear that tomorrow God may not come through, leads often to “maggots” in my life.

Exodus 16:19-20 Then Moses said to them, "No one is to keep any of it until morning. "However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

If in any area of my life I am living as though the Lord will not provide, and consequently my heart moves in a direction of self-guided, self-protective living, I am creating a breeding ground for “maggot living”. The smell and effect of such self-protective living in one area of my life, often times is so overpowering it begins to infect all areas, and before long, it has the potential to be the only way I know to live. “Maggot living” is the heart sickness we all feel when we have put so much hope in the outcome of our efforts in any area, that even the best of results, leaves us with a sense of wanting and fear of loosing it.

I said in the beginning that the impact of this type of living is massive on our understanding and ability to live in meaningful community with one another. It attacks the truth that the root of our relationship with God is in his covenant with us, not our action towards, or for Him; the covenant that he was teaching them about in Exodus 16:12 “then you will know that I am the Lord your God.” The relationship with God and Man is a relationship of giver to receiver. If All that I have is given to me from the Lord, and not a product of my efforts, then as a result I am free to give it away in faith, believing that the Lord who provided it in the beginning, can do so again if he chooses. Living in this reality creates the equality the God speaks of in 2nd Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 8:13 “Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality.”

Equality; A “happy”, politically correct notion that has very little real value in our capitalistic, materialistic, hedonistic, narcissistic culture. It all sounds good, until out of my supposed plenty I have to meet your needs. What happens if your needs are so great that I have to suffer in order to meet them? Most giving in Christian circles is not done out of our first-fruits that could lead to our suffering, but out of such excess that often times we never have to suffer in order to give; yet this willingness to personally suffer in order to meet needs, is a mark of a gospel-centered community. For this type of community to take root, and to grow and flourish, the formative persons involved need to be ones whose lives are marked by living experientially in the truth that all I have is the Lord’s.

2 Corinthians 8: 14-15 At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."

The beauty of this relationship with the Lord is that even when I have trusted in so many other things (idols) than the Lord to provide me with my needs, he is so committed, through this covenant relationship, to guide me back into the truth about His constant presence and provision for me in all things. This is his response to the idolatry of self- provision, self-protection of Israel in Hosea.

Hosea 2:14-16 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. "In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.'

Hiding behind your theology, a spiritual lobotomy for “false peace”

2008-04-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

I have been found often to be what I describe as “hiding behind” my theology. That is to say, that instead of truly dealing with Jesus in the areas of my life that are difficult, such as the recurring disappointment or emotional pain of a relationship, I claim God’s sovereignty in the situation, as to avoid dealing with Him and the obvious tension and suffering that stems from my assumption that He is somehow unable to handle the depth of emotions (anger and sorrow) that I could possibly bring to Him. And if I were to bring them to him, instead of a safe-mouthed heart of undying devotion, he would certainly only ordain more of the same suffering that I am experiencing instead of comforting me by enter into my pain.

Dan Allender in his book “To Be Told” speaks of this hiding as a sort of “spiritual lobotomy” that gives us the control to remove the immediate tension of the situation, but rarely leads to healing or any sort of lasting peace. It is often times this suffering, and even wrestling with Jesus in the midst of the pain and disappointment, which can lead to true healing.

Allendar states “remove anguish and you remove mercy. Erase anger and you erase a hunger for justice. Jesus doesn’t take away anguish and anger; he transforms heartache into passion and anger into righteous defiance. Instead of shelving these unsavory emotions Jesus transforms them.” He goes on to state, “to loose anguish is to be one step closer to robotic inhumanity, as if such a spiritual lobotomy could make a person happier.” Finally he asserts that such a spiritual lobotomy leads to using “Jesus to deflect the pain of our stories.”

The invitation from Jesus is not to use him to deflect, but to go with Him, to the very center of our pain and begin to heal. When we hide behind our theology, often times we are operating out of self-protection and distancing ourselves from the very person who can heal us. Our theology should serve as a bridge to relationally connect us with Jesus rather than a wall to protect us from dealing with Him. So why would we choose the wall?

Control. We would rather have a “false peace” that comes from our “apparent” control than deal with the fact that God is really the one who is in control and we are mad about how he is “choosing” to allow for our suffering. Allendar puts it like this; “what do we want most; God or the hollow peace of our own control?” Even my belief of God’s sovereignty can be a control issue for me if my belief in his sovereignty keeps me from having to deal with him relationally. The result is what Alledar describes as “robotic inhumanity.” Unable to handle the depth of our emotions, God is reduced from the great lover of our souls and the redeemer of all things, to a narrow-minded behavioral scorekeeper, and we in turn forfeit our image-bearing humanity and freedom to feel, for a slave like existence that keeps us from ever functionally experiencing God as anything more than a semi-benevolent, temperamental being that “endures” us.

So how do I stop from hiding behind my theology? How do I opt for not self-inflicting a spiritual lobotomy that leads to relational disconnect with God?

Hosea 2: 14- 16 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. 15 There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth,  as in the day she came up out of Egypt. 16 "In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.

Anchor is translated trouble; “the valley of Anchor, a door of hope.” It is in the valley of trouble, that hope begins to burst forth. We don’t run from the desert, but receive it, as a door to hope, healing, and relationally to God himself. It is our absolute commitment to mountain top living in our culture that keeps us from experiencing the healing that is only found in the long walk through the valley, with the Lord (Psalm 23).

We stop hiding when we receive the “alluring” of the Lord in the desert, that he may speak tenderly to us, and comfort our pain. We spend so much time trying to get out of the desert, thinking that only if we are in a good place, happy and content with the Lord, that he will be tender toward us, when often times he is the one authoring, through the allowance of the desert times, to create the kind of fertile ground in our hearts, for willingness to be present enough, for us to allow him enter in and begin to heal us (psalm 42:7).

The relationship moves only from slave and master, to bride and husband, when the valley of trouble, by his grace, becomes a door of hope. If every time trouble comes, to deal with it, I must hide part of myself, lasting peace cannot be tasted, and the “hollow peace of our control” is in all it’s falsity, further perpetuated.

I hear what your lips are saying, but how come I don’t believe you?

2008-04-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Do you want to get well? The question Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethesda one afternoon. It’s a simple question, yet considering the circumstances, it’s quite perplexing. The question I would like to raise is why was that specific question that Jesus asked this man, and what question is Jesus asking me consequently?

Lets look at the story.

John 5 The Healing at the Pool- 1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. 2Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed.5One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" 7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." 8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

38 years. It is on the heels of learning that this man had been in this condition for a long time, that Jesus decides to ask this specific question. My first reaction to the question “do you want to get well?” is annoyance with Jesus. Seems a bit odd, and obtuse. Why would this man want to stay an invalid? How could he possibly answer Jesus in any other way than yes? Did Jesus really wonder or have a sense that this man possibly would say no? Why would the invalid say no?
Lets look at the story through our own lives and our own sickness that is in need of the healing that only Christ can provide. This may lead us to the reason why “no” could have been the answer.

Think for a second of sin, or hurt, or emotional pain that exists in your life, and has for quite some time. A situation that has existed, or recurred so often that at this stage you have begun to believe that it may possibly never change. You have sat in this pain for quite some time, months and years have passed possibly, your left seeing only a couple, maybe even one possibility that could remedy the hurt, take away the pain, and stop the cycle of sin. You think, “If this one possibility could happen, then maybe the hurt would stop.” But lets be realisitic, it’s not likely. We have hoped for that before, only to have our hopes dashed against the rocks (Proverbs 13:12). Sometimes it’s just easier to live with the pain, accept the dysfunction and get on with life. Make the best of a bad situation. No use hoping now, all that ever leads to is disappointment.

I have seen in my own life and in many others this very situation played out. Sin or emotional pain, that at one point, we were so committed to dealing with, and pursuing healing for, through Jesus, is like a little dog we walk around with us everywhere we go. My friend Randy calls it our “pal” for guys, your pride, anger, and lust. We know that we are invalids when it comes to dealing with our own sin and emotional pain, and are incapable of ridding ourselves of it. But it has been with us for so long, the idea of being healed from it may be more terrifying than living with it the rest of our lives. So we keep it around, despising it and ourselves at times, but unwilling to let it go, cause then what?

This is why I said at the beginning, “I hear what your lips are saying, but how come I don’t believe you.” Often times I see a commitment to even protect my sin and my hurt because they are so familiar to me, they have become apart of my identity and to have them removed, through Christ’s healing, would leave me feeling so unsure of who I am. It is our deep commitment to control all aspects of our lives that can keep us from saying yes to Jesus question, “do you want to get well?”

Sadly my interior response is often no, even though on the surface I am acting and saying things to the contrary. No, Jesus, I don’t want to get well. I know this sucks, things being like they are, but at least it’s predictable and I can have some semblance of control. Thanks for the offer to live in total freedom (Gal 5:1) but I would rather be a slave and have some false sense of control, than let you heal me and live in the reality that my concept of control is without meaning (Job 38).

This is why I believe Jesus asked the question to the invalid. He asked because he knows the heart of a man better than the man himself (Jeremiah 17:9-10). He knows that we are in love with control more than we are in love with him. He knows that our sins and pain, although at times sickening to us, are comfortable crutches that often we are unwilling to let him deal with. We have tried our own methods to heal ourselves (control), and they have failed so many times, how could anything or anyone else help?

Isaiah 30:15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

Do you want to get well? Not such a simple question huh? It is only by his grace manifested through willingness, born from repentance, that rest and healing is experienced and we are able to let go of the control that keeps our sin and pain from being made “well”.

No peace without truth.

2008-04-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

In preparing to teach this weekend on the topic of “speaking the truth to one another” I have come to the conclusion in my preparation that peace and truth are inexplicably linked. That is to say, that you cannot truly have one without the other. The attempts we make to have one without the other either leads to “false peace”, which in reality is tolerance or “politically/socially correct” acceptance, or “marginalized truth”, in which a major or minor compromise to ones belief is essential to create the space to have supposed “peace”.

I have seen this played out often in my time in Northern Ireland, a place desperately seeking peace, often without pursing the truth. What occurs when you pursue one without the other is “false community” that appears on the surface to look solid, but when tested by any sort of stressor, folds quickly back into old routine and comfortable patterns that exhibit the real truth, namely that the community is established on nothing sustainable. Consequently to find “common ground” to build peace on, the truth has to be diluted to such a degree that peace is established for no other reason than we know we are supposed to have it. But just because you know something is to be, means little to nothing of our ability to actually manifest it. That’s is to say, knowledge isn’t power as we are often told. Knowledge is apart of the change that leads to peace, but only in that it is our knowledge of what has brought us into peace with God, namely His grace through Christ alone, that produces a resting in our dependence on Christ, which makes us “peacemakers” in the world in which we live (James 3:17-18-But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness).

This is why truth of the gospel is essential and the backbone to real, lasting peace. As Christ followers this then would put the truth of the gospel and our capacity to remain in it, paramount to the production of peace (“gospel of peace” in Ephesians 6:14). It is in our acknowledgement of the truth of the gospel, as it pertains to us first, and then to all others, that we find the ground that true peace is built upon. Ephesians 2:14-For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.

It is in our understanding and willingness not just to acknowledge but remain in and under the truth of the gospel and what has been done for us in Christ, that leads to the “rule” of Christ’s peace (Colossians 3:15) in our hearts and cultivates a community and environment to be able to speak the truth to one another in love.

When we fall out of step (Galatians 5:23) with the truth of the gospel, the humility necessary to speak to one another from a place of gentleness is impossible to manifest. That is to say that we ourselves must always first be saturated with the truth of our own need for Christ’s forgiveness and grace, which is at the center of the gospel, before we are to point out where in the life of another the same grace is needed. When we try to extend the grace needed to produce peace without the truth of the gospel at the center, what is exchanged are just words without power to produce any real effective change that could lead to lasting peace. Christ must be at the center; hence the truth must be at the center, if peace is to be born, cultivated, and lasting.

The “bond of peace” we share in the Spirit is what has been done for us in Christ. Without the truth of our need of Christ, and what has been accomplished for us, by his grace alone, we have no peace ourselves, and consequently no real peace to offer “one another.”

Quick unguided tongues.

2008-03-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 29:20-“Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

Earlier this week in my “haste” to resolve a conflict I undoubtedly sinned against a couple of my friends. The “haste” was not born of conviction of the Holy Spirit, rather a desire to lessen the discomfort of the situation by forcing the issue of resolution. That is to say, that although bringing the issues that were causing the conflict to the surface, was and is in and of itself good, the manner and order in which we do this, either leads to potential healing, if willingness is present, or has a great opportunity to be used (by Satan) for the stirring up even more dissention and division.

The speed of the tongue is often times the issue. Although scripture speaks of keeping “short accounts” with one another (Ephesians 4:26-27: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold), often times in our haste to deal with the situation causing the division, we skip out, as I did this week, on an important step. The necessary humility for dealing with such tension in relationships is born of time spent in willingness and allowance for the Holy Spirit to show you first, where in your own life, past or present, in similarity to the very issue at hand, you have been on the offending side. It is only when speaking from such a place of humility and gentleness that willingness possibly can be born in the others involved, to confront the issue at hand. When done in any other manner, pride is most likely the motivating factor for dealing with the conflict, comfort and stroking our self-righteousness the goal, and shame cast on the individuals involved is the resultant. Shame driven acts cannot lead us to true forgiveness and healing with one another.

Psalm 4:4- In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

Jeremiah 17:10- I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind

Matthew 7:3-5:Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye

We shame one another into dealing with our sins against one another only when we forget that we ourselves are as Paul saw himself, “chief is sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15-Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst). The humility that prevents “speaking in haste” is born of a healthy perspective of our own need of Jesus. It is when this need of grace is skewed, or hasn’t been freshly visited by us, that often times we act in a way that is not under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yet in his infinite grace, and all encompassing redemptive nature (Romans 8:28-And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose), God can and will use even our haste, born of not staying in step with the spirit (Gal 5:23), to bring us through humbling, back into the reality of our dependence upon him to do anything right (Isaiah 64:6- our righteous acts are as filthy rags).

Psalm 137:6 - May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.

Before a word is spoken in haste, we must first be humbled in remembrance. This may take seconds, minutes, hours, or even days. It is only in this grace soaked state that we should move forward with tongues guided by the Holy Spirit. And we should be encouraged, that even when we fail to do so, it can become for us a window to renter the reality of the grace in which we now stand (Romans 5:2)

The bread of adversity, the water of affliction.

2008-03-24T11:32:00.001-07:00

If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings up pain that can't be soothed
Would you change? Would you change?

Tracy Chapman-Change

Often times it is through adversity and affliction that our truest self raises to the surface. Our fundamental beliefs and trusts are exposed only in these times of contention and suffering, and often times we find that the claims we make are like “paper tigers” (indigo girls-“love will come to you”), just spoken words, not deep-heart, suffering-born conviction. They lack the power to heal, comfort, challenge, or make sense of the pain we are experiencing. It is our absolute commitment to not suffering in our culture that often erodes our ability to experience the guidance that the Lord often brings to us though suffering. Many of my daily interactions are had with people seeking guidance and direction from the Lord concerning their lives; yet they live diametrically opposed, via unwillingness, to receive from the hand of the Lord the “bread of adversity and the water of affliction” that often can lead to hearing his (“the teachers”) voice. That is to say, we want Jesus to lead us, we just don’t want to have to suffer. Yet as Paul knew all to well, being united to Christ in sufferings is part of experiencing this type of resurrected living (Philippians 3:10) Isaiah 30 gives us a beautiful picture of this.

Isaiah 30:19-22: 19 O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. 20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." 22 Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "Away with you!"

It is hard for us to believe in a society so bound to comfort masked as safety, that the Lord could possibly be answering our cry’s for help with affliction. It is due to idolatry masked as “personal responsibility” that we continue to depend on our self for our provision rather than Him. Yet these idols, when shown to us for what they truly are, often through God given adversity, become as menstruation to us. That is they become utterly worthless and undependable to save. It is only in this God authored awakening thorough affliction, that we are finally set free enough to “defile” these very things we have trusted.

I find often a deep resistance to suffering within myself. An unparalleled allegiance to my comfort that takes on the form of hedonism (pleasure) and materialism (possessions) expressed through a deceptive and often times seemingly hard to pinpoint narcissism (self). Again we see this played out well earlier in the passage of Isaiah 30.

Isaiah 30: 9-11: These are rebellious people, deceitful children,  children unwilling to listen to the Lord's instruction.10 They say to the seers, "See no more visions!" and to the prophets "Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions. 11 Leave this way,  get off this path,  and stop confronting us  with the Holy One of Israel!"

“Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions.” “Tell me a lie, if it’s true” (griffin house-lyric from tell me a lie). I would rather live in a lie, in an utter illusion, that affords me comfort, than be faced with the truth, if it means I come to grips with the fact that as a Christ follower, I will be partially groaning the rest of my life. (Romans 8:23) This is not to say that the Lord never provides seasons of rest, peace, and comfort. Rather to say, that we must receive those things as from the Lord, just as we are free to receive affliction from him as well (Job 1:21). It is my (our) unwillingness to part with the first (comfort) that often times leads to a misunderstanding of the second (affliction). (Job 2:10- shall we not accept the good from the lord as well as the trouble?)

It is through the bread of adversity and the water of affliction that we often come to hear the Lords voice more clearly. The voice that says “this is the way, walk in it.” But the invitation to walk in this “way” is not an invitation to go it alone. For he has gone this way before us, and calls us to go with him where he has already gone.

Philippians 2:5-8: 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:   6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,   7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.   8And being found in appearance as a man,  he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross.

Always take yourself seriously, just not literally.

2008-03-19T15:06:00.001-07:00

Most people always take their emotions and feelings in a literal sense. That is to say, that how they are feeling at any given moment is literally about the issue at hand that has brought that specific emotion to the surface. With more reflection, and by that I mean listening by the Holy Spirit, to the one who can guide us through the depths of our hearts, we often come to realize that the emotions being experienced are serious, but not literal. (Proverbs 20:10-The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,  but a man of understanding draws them out),

We need a man of understanding to draw out the depth of what is going on in our hearts. That is, to take us beyond the literal situation and feelings to their very root and source. What is often mistaken is that we need to become a man of understanding, rather than realizing that Christ is the man of understanding, and we have been given fullness in Christ (Colossians 2:9-10 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.)

When we seek the man of understanding, instead of trying to be him, we find the freedom in Christ to take our emotions seriously, rather than literally, and we can access healing and understanding that in taking our emotions literally and dealing with them alone, can never be had.

John 4:9-15: The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."

When we take the thirst seriously, not literally, we find what the thirst is really all about. Jesus took the woman seriously, just not literally. Water was what she thought she literally needed, but what the “man of understanding” knew she seriously needed was the “living water” only he could bring.

Hope vs. Optimism and the American Dream

2008-03-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

The 2008 version of the “American Dream” is not rooted in true hope. It is often nothing more than humanistic, self-generated optimism. For it to be hope, it would have to be something we have not yet seen (Romans 8:24 hope that is seen is no hope at all), and if you ask most people if we have seen “the American Dream” yet, they would say, “sure”, and then talk about a rich person they know. Although wealth is never in and of itself an evil, it’s expression in the form of the “American Dream” has been reduced to nothing more than an idol of self-sufficiency. Thus the goal of most Americans is to need nothing, and in particular no one, outside of themselves to gain anything that they desire. This is not the true “American Dream”, and is far from a gospel-centered perspective on life.

Cornell West states, “ I do worry at times that our culture confuses mature hope with naïve audacity. It is important to remember that the blues conception of hope is in no way identical with the optimism of the American Dream. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream was not the American Dream. It was rooted in the American Dream- it incorporated the need to work hard, defer gratification, and aspire to be the best. But it was also a rejection of crass materialism, hedonism, and narcissism.”

Sadly if you were to ask most Americans what they hope for in the future, they’re hopes would be inexplicably linked to materialism (possessions), hedonism (pleasure), and narcissism (self). The hope the gospel gives us, and that was evident in the fabric of the formation of the United States, is one not of narcissism, but of self-sacrifice and denial. Such terms are not sexy in a world that promotes that you can change the world around you without being changed yourself, first.

Our Declaration of Independence reads, “Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security”

The absolute despotism we find ourselves under is not the government of our country, but the ruler of self, sitting on the throne of our hearts. What needs to be thrown off is my flesh and self. The gospel gives us the opportunity to move off the throne of our lives, and it replaces us with Christ’s peace. (Colossians 3:15- Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.) It is our allegiance to self, that makes us “disposed to suffer“ rather than “abolishing the forms” to which we have become “accustomed”. It is our allegiance to our comfort that keeps us from living in hope. It is easier to just suffer with “how it is” than to be apart of changing the tide.

America was founded on love for others and greater concern for all mankind. The gospel displays a love that is defined by the laying down of ones life for a friend (John 15:13). Our culture has reduced love to pornography, and sacrifice to a sexy “go-green” mentality. But real change, change that comes from “mature” hope is not sexy. It’s deadly. And the first death is your own. If we were all honest with ourselves, the problem is not out there somewhere, it’s inside us. I am the problem. That’s why hope is necessary, and optimism is powerless. We need something outside ourselves to see this become reality. That’s where Jesus comes in.

Friendship

2008-03-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Friendship. Time to see what’s real and what’s counterfeit.

Proverbs 27:6- Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

I remember a day when a man who is one of my best friends warned me what he was about to do. He asked me, “Do you trust me? Do you trust that I love you?” I replied yes. He said to me, “I am about to wound you, because I have to wound you in order for you to be healed.” It seems backwards to us, especially in times of acute pain and emotional suffering, to think of being willing to allow those nearest to us to do speak into such pain with words of rebuke and challenge, rather than words of comfort. Although I am a firm believer of comforting first from the comfort that we ourselves have received (2 Corinthians 1), there are times when what the Lord calls you to do for the sake of your friendship and your healing, is to be willing to say or receive the words that wound, the words that can lead to true peace and rest.

Like a doctor with surgical precision who cuts away the infected tissue, is the friend whose tongue speaks words of rebuke under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Although there is pain in the moment, the healing that is afforded by the surgery is far greater than what could be accomplished without.

Temptation?

2008-03-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Temptation.

Devil said to Adam “You will be like God.” (Genesis 3:4) That backfired huh?

Jesus, when returning from his time of prayer in the garden, challenged his disciples by questioning them on why, instead of praying, they were sleeping. He encouraged them to pray and to do so that “they may not fall into temptation.” (Luke 22:46) This has always struck me as being an odd thing for Jesus to say, and in particular, what temptation was he talking about?

Jesus, during his prayer in Gethsemane, clearly voiced his desire to the Father to ‘have this cup” taken from him. Is it possible that the temptation that Jesus is referring to was the temptation to act out of what one feels vs. living out of what one knows to be true? When I am experiencing temptation, most often it takes on the form of feelings that I am experiencing. Feelings that scream with such intensity that my very life and will seems bound to them. Temptation is speaking to my soul through the conduit of my emotions saying things like, “If this desire or feeling goes un-satisfied, or un-gratified, I may not make it.

Have you ever been so sad about something that the feelings about that situation begin to bleed into everything in your life? It’s the red sock in the white laundry; everything is now tinted a shade of red. When how you feel is the only lens, or the primary lens by which you look at your life and determine what is true, things have a tendency to get pretty messy, quickly.

This temptation to trusting our feelings is fundamentally a temptation to trust ourselves over what the Father has called us to, namely to trust him with our very lives. The obedience we see displayed in Christ in Gethsemane and on the cross is the very obedience we see lacking in Adam in Genesis 3. Theologians have referred to Christ as the “second” Adam for centuries. What was proved to be impossible for Adam, to trust the Father over himself and his feelings, was accomplished in and through Christ (Romans 5).

This should give us great hope and comfort. If we are to become people who live beyond the scope of our feelings, we need help. Actually we need more than help, we need for Him to do something for us and in us that we cannot do for ourselves. It should comfort us because Adam, Eve, and everyone since are living proof that something outside of us is needed to live in obedience to the Father. It also changes what we do with our feelings. We don’t spend needless amounts of time in shame over feelings we didn’t conjure and can’t overcome. It drives us to the very place and person who can set us free. The problem is that we actually believe that we are free in the first place. We think that we are free, but in reality scripture teaches us that we are slaves. Slaves to sin, slaves to our feelings, slaves to ourselves (Romans 6:17). We need to be set free.
That’s the whole reason Jesus came, to make free men and women out of slaves.

Galatians 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Freedom to feel, just not the freedom to act.

2008-03-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 5:7 During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.

The freedom to feel, not the freedom to act.

Most of our lives as Christ followers are not lived in the delicate balance of the above statement. I say delicate because our lives are a complexity of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and circumstances. Most people find themselves in one of two places concerning their feelings. Either my feelings are the truest part of myself and therefore deserve unparalleled allegiance, or my feelings are rooted in my flesh and therefore are always twisted and laced with sinful motive and should never be trusted. Either “ditch” is a place, that if lived in to long, can become crippling to our journey with the Lord.

So what do we do with our feelings? How are we to treat them in the context of how we live our day to lives?

In looking at the garden account of Gethsemane, we see this paradox of freedom to feel, but not freedom to act, lived out in full color by Jesus himself. Matthew 26: 39 “ My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

It couldn’t be clearer that Jesus desire was to not have to suffer what He knew was about to transpire. In the account in Matthew he asked this three times of the Father to take this “cup from him”. Jesus even states that “his soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” to his disciples in verse 38. His feelings on the matter were infinitely clear. He sweated drops of blood as result of anguish over knowing the cross he was about to bear (Luke 22:44). Still he felt as Gods son the full freedom to communicate this to the Father. I have often wondered why, if Jesus knew that the cross was coming, and that it was clearly the will of the father for him to bear it, would he still communicate this desire to the Father. What good could come of it? Why be honest and reveal the true desire of your heart if nothing is possibly going to change? How is it that Jesus could be so honest about what he desired, and yet live and act out of the second part of his statement “thy will be done?” Although I believe there are a myriad of complexities to consider here, many far beyond my grasp, I would offer a few considerations that, although they do not wrap up neatly this matter entirely, do offer some direction for such a pervasive issue as our feelings.

I would suggest that most Christians only do half of Gethsemane. We say, “your will be done”, but never feel the freedom to express to God the depth of our desire concerning the matter at hand. This inevitably leads to a relational disconnect with God the Father, and consequently to a bitter heart and flawed thinking concerning the Father, and in particular his heart towards us. This relational disconnect also keeps us from something else absolutely vital, namely experiencing God himself, the only one who can give us the comfort and peace we need, which fuels our wills to trust his plan over ours.

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I don’t think that what Paul is saying is that if you have anxiety about your life then something is wrong with you. I think that the anxiety that God is warning against is the anxiety of bringing our hearts to him. It is not so much a statement of “if you find yourself anxious, don’t be” but rather “when you find yourself anxious, come to me” and let me give you peace, let me protect and guard your heart. Let me give you myself. I will be your peace (Micah 5:5)

Colossians 3:15- Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you wee called to peace.

It is difficult for two things two sit on the thrones of our hearts at one time. In fact it is impossible. In a culture that celebrates feelings as having the highest value, it is safe to say that what “rules” most of our hearts are those very emotions. It is only though spirit initiated and sustained willingness that our feelings can be replaced on the throne of our hearts with Christ’s peace.

Desire

2008-03-03T15:38:00.001-08:00

Psalms 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It is in the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most human beings live for only the gratification of it. - Aristotle.

I have often heard it taught that what this verse is saying is that God will give you desires for your heart. That God causes and affects your heart to desire certain things that are in line with his desires for you. This is complicated due to the fickle nature of our flesh and a heart that the Lord has told us is “deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9)” and that we are in need of assistance to understand our own hearts. If this is true, then what I confess I desire is in all probability just the surface of my true desire. For to come in contact beyond the surface and into the depth of my desire, I need the holy spirit to reveal it to me (1 Corinthians 2). This leads us to conclude then that what this passage is not saying is that whatever you find your heart desiring, that God has given you that desire.

So why do I have such a vast range of desires? Why am I bent on having them satisfied immediately? I understand that if I have a desire to sell cocaine to minors, that clearly isn’t a desire that the Lord has given me, but what about the desire to have a husband or wife for the single person? What about the desire for having a child for a married couple? What about the desire to make enough money to pay my bills? Is it possible for God to give you a desire that he doesn’t intend to fulfill in this life? If so, why? How does my desire not turn into entitlement? In other words, if the Lord has given me this desire, now he needs to fulfill it, and do so now. It seems that understanding our desire is at the root of all of this. Is it possible, that like hope, desire is something implanted in us, rather than something we have in and of ourselves?

If Aristotle is right in his statement, that the nature of desire is to not be satisfied, and Paul is telling the truth in Romans 8:23 that as a result of the implanting of the Holy Spirit we find ourselves “groaning” as we wait for the redemption of our bodies, then what is this desire inside of us all about? We need to understand what it is all about, for if we don't we are a ship without a rudder, tossed about by the sea. I would suggest we go back to “delight” in Psalm 37. What does it it mean to delight in the Lord?

Eden is defined as "a state of perfect happiness or bliss, a delightful place, a paradise". In the creation account of Genesis 2 and 3 we find a picture the first of humanity experiencing what we "groan" for as Christ followers in this current day. What we are seeing in Eden is the desire of God for mankind concerning the nature of their relationship. Prior to the fall, it was the delight of the Lord and of man that they were fully in relationship with one another; in spirit and in body. It is often easy for me to think of Eden in terms of its content (the beauty, peace, security, no sorrow, work rather than labor and toil, etc). It would serve us better to think of Eden not just in terms of the resulting content, but rather the preceding context that is the cause, namely the presence of God himself.

Is it possible that all of our true desire is liked inexplicably with this truth, that the only experience of true satisfaction and gratification require the full presence of God Himself? That what will be so profoundly great about being reunited to Christ in death will not be the byproduct blessings of heaven but the glory ridden experience of being face to face with God himself. It is easy to see that if this is what I was made for, why I live so many days trying to kill my desire by my vane attempts to satisfy it now. I have “eternity” placed in my heart by him, and I have no way of brining it about. Ecclesiastes 3:11.

As a result we usually do one of two things. Try to kill desire by grasping anxiously at some lesser thing, robbing me of freedom and “nailing” my desire to some attachment that supplies temporary comfort. But desire having been given not manifested, and having its root in God not man, cannot be destroyed, any more than it can be satisfied outside of Him. The other option takes us back to the garden. For we have now, as Christ followers, one of two parts. A new heart and new Spirit (Ezekiel 11:19) We can begin to taste the first-fruits of what we one day experience in full, when our bodies are restored along with this work he has already accomplished in our spirit. It is safe to say, that the only lasting satisfaction I will experience this side of glory will be “in spirit”. Knowing this and staying in step with this truth (Galatians5: 23) then becomes quite paramount for understanding and living out of my true desire. It is only in times when I live minutes, days, hours, weeks, months, and even years out of touch with the holy spirit that my sense of entitlement for the desires of my heart to me satisfied now is the dominating emotion of my life.

It is why when Jesus taught his disciples how to pray; the first request was for the” thy kingdom to come”. When I demand all of my desires to be met by God now, it is safe to say that I have replaced “thy” with “my”. That’s a whole other topic.