Once a black sheep, always a black sheep

Quote from my mom this thanksgiving when recalling a accidental fire "David, I didn't say you burned down that house, unless you lied."

Piles of Stone

1 Samuel 7:12 -Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”

To pile up stone has been in the history of the people of God, an outward symbol to reflect an inward reality, that God is the helper and deliverer of his people. If you study the history of Israel through the Old Testament what you would find is the story of of life on a journey, marked by piles of stone, standing as symbols littering the landscape of a peoples relationship with God. One could imagine others who would come past on a later journey, seeing these piles of stone marking the landscape and wondering what could they mean, why were they here, what was the story behind each of them?

Ebenezer is the given name of a stone by Samuel, the prophet of the Lord. It means in the original hebrew "stone of help." It served as a marker of the redemptive commitment of the Lord to his people. They were piled up, so as to say, this day will not be forgotten nor will the Lord whom they represent.

The hand in this photo is of my dear friend. As we shared stories and tears the other day, the Lord decided to display His love and commitment to me yet again through my dear sister. With her help, I found a pile of stone in my past, a picture of God's faithfulness, one that had been forgotten, and that only through hearing my sisters life and story, could be uncovered. It was an ebenezer. A pile of stones drenched in a 24 year olds tears. A season of life marked by deep pain and yet an ever growing abiding experience of the Lord's presence and love for me. I remembered, I went back into the story, I wept, I was comforted now, as I was then. Sometimes you can never cry enough the first time life happens. You just can't. So you go back. I am grateful to not go back alone.

So she piled up some stones for me, some small pebbles under a bus bench in the heart of 12 south, to serve as a reminder that the Lord himself is our "stone of help." We laughed knowing that they would probably be swept aside soon by a passer by, but for that ( molment :), excuse me, moment, it was as though a son and daughter of the true Israel, fellow pilgrims on a sacred journey, stopped and stooped, to pile the stones as their forefathers, joining in the great ongoing narrative of redemptive history, of those who's lives are marked by piles of stone, marked by the Lord, his relentless help, his unchanging love.

Yes and No

"If we cannot say no, then our yes means nothing." - Peter Block

Saying no can be one of the most difficult things for a human being. The desire to please, be accepted, be loved, be known almost inevitably feels linked to saying yes to others and opportunities. Yet what we find often in saying yes to everything, is that we are spread so thin across a variety of relationships and situations, that the life that were were seeking to find in saying yes to these things has avoided us entirely. Instead of experiencing the fullness of life we so desire and were created for, we traipse around as pedestrians in our own existence, exhausted and perpetually disappointed. We must learn to say no, so that when we say yes, it means something. And what it would mean, is that I know what I want, and what I don't, what will and won't fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. To discover these things is a journey of first saying no, that then leads us to a place of saying yes to the things that truly matter.

It is only through the spirit led willingness to say no to something or someone, experiencing either death of those lesser desires, or discovering the true desire underneath the outward manifestation that we are saying yes to, that the begins to teach us what it is we really want and were made for. It is only when we have a sense of this truth, that we then can begin to make decisions that have volition born of spirit led conviction.

Proverbs 19:22 -"What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar."

Without this understanding, we will crush everyone and everything in our lives with the weight of the eternal desire set in our hearts by God for his unfailing love. This then frees us to say yes to others and opportunities from a different posture. A posture of desire not demand, of openness not expectation, of peace not anxiety, of adventure not obstacles, of love not fear.

The Danger of How before Why.

We live in a modern age of "how to" and believe that with the right answers we can fix anything and master our own realties. Yet oftentimes despite my own efforts, failings, and redoubling of efforts, my experience tells quite a different story. I am far less in control than I want to admit, and my efforts often seem to be like trying to turn the titanic with a rowboat. I wonder why I don't stop rowing and ask if maybe the ship needs to sink. My continual efforts are often directed towards answering the wrong questions, and therefore no right answer to the wrong question will satisfy the deepest desires of my heart for purpose, meaning, and love. And yes, I did just assert that all of our efforts in life are derived at answering those heart questions of meaning, purpose, and love.

Proverbs 19:22-"What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar"

"Taken in isolation, and asked in the right context, all "How" questions are valid. But when they become the primary questions, the controlling questions, the defining questions, they create a world where operational attention drives out the human spirit. Therapist Pittman McGehee states that the opposite of love is not hate, but efficiency. This is the essence of instrumental bias, our bias toward action, control, predictability. While being practical is modern cultures child, it carries a price and we are paying it. The price of practicality is a way of deflecting us from our deeper values." - Peter Block

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

"Love is never efficient but always effective" - Randy Draughon

"Authentic transformation requires more time than we ever imagined." - Peter Block

Seeing is believing? Says who?

2 Corinthians 5:7-“We live by faith, not by sight.”

The Book of Eli, a relatively new film gives modern experience to these words of Paul. In the film, a blind man Eli who reads in brail, and has possession of the last known Bible in the world, a Brail bible, goes on a treacherous and eventually life ending journey to secure the bibles safety and its getting translated back from brail, to written form.

The clear impact of the words of scripture, upon the man Eli, is profoundly evident, acting as his guide and very sense of life and identity. The reality that they are more than just words, but the source of, and the power of, that which these words come from, and connect one to, is palpable throughout the film.

To read in brail requires time, and an infinitely slower pace and focus to the digestion of the words. It also involves tactile senses that simply reading with your eyes does not. It would be hard to multitask while reading in brail. It is a reading that involves your entire self, mind, heart, and body.

Most Christians I know long for the words of scripture to move out of their heads and into the fabric of their day to day lives; that the truth of the Word would begin to order all that they do and say; that it would give them direction, purpose, and a sense of identity that transcends the circumstances of their days. Eli had such an experience, and not seeing with his eyes was why.

What would it look like for those of us to begin to experience the Word with our entire self, with our hands and eyes shut? Some thoughts.

Time- in the film Eli confesses that he reads daily. My sight often times dictates my time. What I see is what I do and what I believe I need. If time would begin to be dictated by something other than what I see, other senses would have to become as strong as sight, and have the persuasion of sight. Senses like hearing. Which is listening.

Job 4:12-"A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it.” (1 Kings 19)

Pace- my pace in life often reflects what I see in this world. The willingness and discipline to rest is lacking when my eyes are open, looking for something to tell me what I already know and could experience if I would just shut my eyes and listen. Even when I do, by grace, make an attempt at this the resting pace, I often import to the process “sight-time” values (speed and efficiency) and thwart the very purpose of the exercise. There is no shortcut to experiencing what I am describing and it feels like dying before living. To slow your pace, as to read with your hands, is functionally freeing your hands of the productivity “sight” whispers to you, “this will make you whole.”

Isaiah 44:20- He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, "Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?"

Focus-My sight is often times at the center of my distraction. What I find my eyes fixated upon often gets my focus and my most valued emotional energy. In a world of multi-everything, where no one is doing just one thing at a time, and where it is celebrated that you can do so, the idea of focus has been minimized to the ability to accomplishing multiple things at one.

What I find odd is that most people now have a harder time just doing one thing at a time. That they are constantly consumed with the idea that they are missing something else, and therefore can never commit singularly to anything.

When I use the term focus, I use it in the sense that our sight must not be the driving informer of our decisions. That we shut our eyes to the prevalent cultural message that the fulfillment of the desire you have in your heart is out there somewhere and you better keep your eyes open for it, or you might miss it. Focus is the ability in real time to hear the words that speak in opposition to your sight. Focus is the ability to choose by grace to trust what you hear over what you might see, and feed that whisper, and never stop seeking it.

Matthew 10:26-27 “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”

Sleight of Hand, Sleight of Heart

Proverbs 20:5-The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

Two days ago I was meditating and Lord brought a person to mind that I haven’t communicated with in roughly 15 years. We were friends from childhood and spent time together at college. Rick is his name. Rick was fascinated with sleight of hand magic tricks and was quite good at them when we were in college. After poking around on the internet this week, I came to find that Rick had gone on to become one of the best sleight of hand magicians in the world, wining the world championships in 2006.

If you have watched someone perform sleight of hand magic, especially in person, it is amazing to say the least, in that things that are seemingly impossible are happening with such ease, and at such proximity to oneself, that wonder is the only possible response. I sat in my office watching youtube videos in wonder of my old friend Rick, and his ability to make the impossible, possible.

I still wondered why the Lord had brought Rick to mind. Sleight of hand was about to reveal sleight of heart.

Last night I went to watch the film The Book of Eli with a friend. He isn’t a magician, but in the realm of the heart and spirit, he reveals and conceals with the same efficiency and effectiveness. If sleight of heart were actually a measurable thing, like sleight of hand magic, well then he would be a world champion. Sleight of heart needs some defining.

In Sleight of hand magic, the basic premise is to get someone’s attention, even if for a moment fixated somewhere else, in order that in that split second, in an ordinary and relatively normal movement, an object may be manipulated for the purposes of harmless deception.

Sleight of heart is similar in the sense that our eyes often must be taken off of a particular thing, even if for a split second, in order that in that fraction of time, the heart of the truth may be revealed. Revelation is the currency of this trade.

A master in sleight of heart is someone who knows the tendency of human nature so acutely, has studied himself and his habits infinitely, has mastered the ability to retain focus in fractional timeframes, and never looses sight of the most important thing at any given moment. It is someone who is singular in they’re approach to life, knowing with certitude regardless of circumstance. For a master of sleight of heart to be a Christian, it means someone who functionally lives by grace the words of Deuteronomy 32:47-They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. To be a master, you must first be mastered. there is no other way.

When life is found, and one stops searching to find, but playing to understand, Laughter replaces despair and revelation replaces seeming ruination. For every moment then becomes an opportunity, regardless of circumstance, to fall into wonder, even when we wonder why.

Psalm 119:18-Open my eyes that I may see the wonderful things in your law.

You still watch Curious George? I do. And he's no monkey.

Stand in the place where you live- REM

“Now you have to stand in desire, all your life long, if you are to make progress in the way of perfection.” –the cloud of unknowing

To stand in desire for any extended period is to acknowledge with heart, mind, and body that what it is we are created for, we are ultimately waiting to be brought to a eschatological completion. Standing in desire seems impossible due to the momentary “fixes” available to us that distract our desire form its origins and attach it firmly to a more apparently manageable and attainable end. Yet they can’t deliver. And like those who have been blinded, we go about groping to grab hold of someone or something, when allowing our selves to be grasped is the only thing that leads to our desires satiation and eventual fulfillment.

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”-St. Augustine

Job 28

"There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore. Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness; Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft, in places forgotten by the foot of man; far from men he dangles and sways. The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire; sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold. No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon's eye has seen it; Proud beasts do not set foot on it, and no lion prowls there. Man's hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains. He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures. He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light. "But where can wisdom be found? 
Where does understanding dwell?
Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living. The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.' It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver. It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires. Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold. Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold. "Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air. Destruction and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.' God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.

And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding."

To stand in desire, means sit (active resting) in the truth. To sit in the truth means to rest in not experiencing everything you already have. To experience that rest, means to wage war against the lie that resting in desire, means you do not have what you’re looking for. To stand in desire, is to sit long enough, to fight the right fight, to rest, in order to receive the peace to continue to stand. Simple enough to be thoroughly confusing huh?

Seeing clearly

(NIV) 2 Peter 1:5-9
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; [6] and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; [7] and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. [8] For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. [9] But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

(NIV) Psalm 119:18
Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Open eyes are required to see beauty beneath the weight of a hard to face reality. Nearsighted blindness is a chosen judgement of anothers reality without acknowledgement of equal need of deserved judgment. You have to shut your eyes to prevent seeing your reflection in anothers eyes. Open eyes lead to humble tongues, restorative love, and an invitation to repentance through not having to do so alone.
Ineffective and unproductive is having a blind man give you LASIK surgery. Careful you aren't wielding a scalpel with a blindfold on. Be even more careful if your holding a scalpel if you've never been cut in the same manner.

(NIV) Luke 6:41-42
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? [42] How can you say to your brother, `Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

God never invites you into His doing something in someone He first doesn't do in you. That's why that huge list of things to add to in 2 Peter 1 is about reception not self generated addition.

(NIV) John 9:32-33

[32] Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. [33] If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."




Sent from my iPhone

Weather Man

(NIV) Ecclesiastes 11:4
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

There is never a "good" time to do what the lord is calling you to do. Circumstances always tend to dictate our movment, when often times, what we have the ability to actually see, not unlike wind and clouds, we cannot control nor predict the outcome.

(NIV) Ecclesiastes 11:5-6
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. [6] Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

The call of obedience is sowing your seed with no guarentee of exactly what you will end up harvesting. For this to happen obedience to our feelings (which often gets or fiercest loyalty) must cease to be our our cornerstone, the functional trust of our hearts and minds. Faith is the active hope that whatever is harvested, it is Gods will for you and therefore good for you, even if it takes the form of suffering. "Sucess" can be redefined and redeamed from "getting what you think you need for your life" to recieving anything with even joyful anticipation that Christ brings into our lives. How?

When what you think you need gets minimized appropriately by who you are actually with.

(NIV) Genesis 15:1
After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. "

Homebody

(NIV) Isaiah 32:17-19
The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. [18] My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. [19] Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely,

Confidence and peace. Two things everyone I know desires for their lives. Fruit is grown from a source that determines it's nature and substance. Feeding upon that fruit produces desirable effects. Peace is a term conotating satisfaction and fullness. If peace is the fruit, and righteousness is the source (John 15), this then requires us asking what is the source of righteousness?

(NIV) Romans 3:21-22
But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. [22] This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

(NIV) Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

The effect of feeding upon the fruit of peace, feeding being actively resting in Christ's righteousness rather than something or someone else, is quiet confidence that exists beyond circumstance.

Peacful dwelling places, secure homes, and undesturbed places of rest in a flattened forest and a leveled city?
Must mean your actual home wasn't in the forest or the city.

(NIV) 2 Peter 3:13
But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.

(NIV) Hebrews 11:13-14
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. [14] People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.

Sleeping with the enemy

NIV) Psalm 110:1
The Lord says to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand until I make your
enemies a footstool for your feet."

When your enemy is you, then resting is the hardest battle to
recognize and fight. It's difficult because sitting with the Lord
looks and feels on the surface like stagnation, when infact it is
active pasivity with a intentional focus.

A doctor performing a surgery never asks the person on the table why
they arent doing more to help.

(NIV) Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village
where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a
sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he
said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had
to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my
sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help
me!" [41] "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and
upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has
chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Courage often has the appearance of doing nothing-George Landolt