Quick unguided tongues.

Proverbs 29:20-“Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

Earlier this week in my “haste” to resolve a conflict I undoubtedly sinned against a couple of my friends. The “haste” was not born of conviction of the Holy Spirit, rather a desire to lessen the discomfort of the situation by forcing the issue of resolution. That is to say, that although bringing the issues that were causing the conflict to the surface, was and is in and of itself good, the manner and order in which we do this, either leads to potential healing, if willingness is present, or has a great opportunity to be used (by Satan) for the stirring up even more dissention and division.

The speed of the tongue is often times the issue. Although scripture speaks of keeping “short accounts” with one another (Ephesians 4:26-27: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold), often times in our haste to deal with the situation causing the division, we skip out, as I did this week, on an important step. The necessary humility for dealing with such tension in relationships is born of time spent in willingness and allowance for the Holy Spirit to show you first, where in your own life, past or present, in similarity to the very issue at hand, you have been on the offending side. It is only when speaking from such a place of humility and gentleness that willingness possibly can be born in the others involved, to confront the issue at hand. When done in any other manner, pride is most likely the motivating factor for dealing with the conflict, comfort and stroking our self-righteousness the goal, and shame cast on the individuals involved is the resultant. Shame driven acts cannot lead us to true forgiveness and healing with one another.

Psalm 4:4- In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

Jeremiah 17:10- I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind

Matthew 7:3-5:Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye

We shame one another into dealing with our sins against one another only when we forget that we ourselves are as Paul saw himself, “chief is sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15-Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst). The humility that prevents “speaking in haste” is born of a healthy perspective of our own need of Jesus. It is when this need of grace is skewed, or hasn’t been freshly visited by us, that often times we act in a way that is not under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yet in his infinite grace, and all encompassing redemptive nature (Romans 8:28-And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose), God can and will use even our haste, born of not staying in step with the spirit (Gal 5:23), to bring us through humbling, back into the reality of our dependence upon him to do anything right (Isaiah 64:6- our righteous acts are as filthy rags).

Psalm 137:6 - May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.

Before a word is spoken in haste, we must first be humbled in remembrance. This may take seconds, minutes, hours, or even days. It is only in this grace soaked state that we should move forward with tongues guided by the Holy Spirit. And we should be encouraged, that even when we fail to do so, it can become for us a window to renter the reality of the grace in which we now stand (Romans 5:2)